tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post8600439023524044910..comments2023-11-25T19:55:38.162-05:00Comments on <b>Chelle Cordero, Author</b>: Do you believe in Karma? ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 03/13/16Chelle Corderohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15412268726863698528noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-39561884244811728222016-03-19T01:32:03.217-04:002016-03-19T01:32:03.217-04:00Nice start ... and good introduction to the charac...Nice start ... and good introduction to the characters. Look forward to reading more.Iris Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07282988971025667976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-71707951404198375302016-03-17T22:42:22.946-04:002016-03-17T22:42:22.946-04:00That's so weird, it's almost as if the hom...That's so weird, it's almost as if the home invaders want to be found but mess up their message. Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13346034896296813841noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-84887748629956627602016-03-15T21:30:17.939-04:002016-03-15T21:30:17.939-04:00Wonder who is behind these home invasions? Loved k...Wonder who is behind these home invasions? Loved knowing a bit about his partner. Ceciliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07076648307785084672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-12309778570788687952016-03-15T13:27:14.225-04:002016-03-15T13:27:14.225-04:00Ha! Not much help the partner is, huh? No one does...Ha! Not much help the partner is, huh? No one does like the smart aleck criminals though that play games. No wonder he's swearing. I would be too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-46127208424793454372016-03-14T01:20:35.257-04:002016-03-14T01:20:35.257-04:00Oh, nobody likes a smart-aleck criminal. Hopefully...Oh, nobody likes a smart-aleck criminal. Hopefully he gets a useful clue soon!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18141508426287090331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-22181946052510368782016-03-14T00:34:59.871-04:002016-03-14T00:34:59.871-04:00Sounds like his partner isn't much help!Sounds like his partner isn't much help!PThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02077084023001310425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-72153382583829451322016-03-14T00:23:20.800-04:002016-03-14T00:23:20.800-04:00Home invaders who toy with the cops, eh? I suspect...Home invaders who toy with the cops, eh? I suspect that in the long run, the smart alecs will end up not being quite as smart as they think.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-82319017832610195162016-03-13T19:47:53.677-04:002016-03-13T19:47:53.677-04:00Nice slice of life snippet. His partner must be so...Nice slice of life snippet. His partner must be so used to his swearing and etc, if he sleep right through it. Great excerpt, puts me right into the story, wondering abut those taunting clues.Veronica Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04732940088047026021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-69994637525433158912016-03-13T19:20:51.814-04:002016-03-13T19:20:51.814-04:00I'm with Paula on the language, Chelle. Don...I'm with Paula on the language, Chelle. Don't cheat the reader, If foul language improves the scene, then never leave it out just because it's foul.<br /><br />Wonderful snippet, by the way. A good glimpse into how his mind works. :-)Teresa Cypherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08940430996766842518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-43443889396712852142016-03-13T16:52:16.958-04:002016-03-13T16:52:16.958-04:00So the partner is asleep on the job. That's a ...So the partner is asleep on the job. That's a nice touch.Elaine Cantrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05668294337075373288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-67287956439914387132016-03-13T15:08:32.238-04:002016-03-13T15:08:32.238-04:00LOL! Love the line about the partner's snoring...LOL! Love the line about the partner's snoring. (I feel the same way about my hubby some nights. Until I start thinking about putting a pillow over his face.) And the language was perfect for the character and situation. Makes it believable. Nice snippet!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17342129595430487116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-28520300702285790142016-03-13T14:55:43.866-04:002016-03-13T14:55:43.866-04:00This bit gives us a great window into Dave's c...This bit gives us a great window into Dave's character!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00200483339139860998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-16617005174640787502016-03-13T13:31:43.397-04:002016-03-13T13:31:43.397-04:00Fine critique here. No need to say more. I'd e...Fine critique here. No need to say more. I'd enrich what invaders grabbed. The same items, varied, all jewelry or goods easily pawned. Were people hurt, tortured, raped? All good info to paint a picture.Charmaine Gordonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15236373312231763983noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-70961465753925512502016-03-13T13:24:52.739-04:002016-03-13T13:24:52.739-04:00Yes, you have to write dialogue the way the charac...Yes, you have to write dialogue the way the character talks. If they cuss, they cuss. Interesting premise to this story, and I love the cover. Good luck with the new laptop!<br /><br />~Joyce ScarbroughThe Belle in Bluehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16368021976814668783noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-12832882344715557522016-03-13T11:17:49.626-04:002016-03-13T11:17:49.626-04:00I kinda liked the colorful language. Gets us into ...I kinda liked the colorful language. Gets us into Dave's head. Great start, Chelle.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15615944959979986826noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-67360110612832721242016-03-13T08:14:40.680-04:002016-03-13T08:14:40.680-04:00Nice starting point -- with the crime. That works ...Nice starting point -- with the crime. That works well. I would take out "out loud." If it's in quotes and he's hissing, it's obviously aloud.<br /><br />I'm wondering what kind of obvious clues the perps are leaving.Cara Bristolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13787980548582603649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-82606866666480105082016-03-13T08:08:48.073-04:002016-03-13T08:08:48.073-04:00Gritty excerpt...enjoyed it! The snoring partner r...Gritty excerpt...enjoyed it! The snoring partner reminds me of my dad, who can also sleep anywhere and through anything. :-)T. M. Hunterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04315726033990784930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-70056353151084340012016-03-13T03:56:46.954-04:002016-03-13T03:56:46.954-04:00I always enjoy how varied your stories are, Chelle...I always enjoy how varied your stories are, Chelle. This promises to be another winner. Very catchy start!Kim Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08556808413747062433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-2879379333493583512016-03-13T03:56:34.242-04:002016-03-13T03:56:34.242-04:00I always enjoy how varied your stories are, Chelle...I always enjoy how varied your stories are, Chelle. This promises to be another winner. Very catchy start!Kim Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08556808413747062433noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-3097193489434400782016-03-13T00:12:16.174-05:002016-03-13T00:12:16.174-05:00Enjoyed the snippet and learning a bit about his p...Enjoyed the snippet and learning a bit about his partner.I'm curious to know who's behind the home invasions. Karen Michelle Nutthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04083893569523248900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9126016220287748031.post-80694045445195341772016-03-12T22:19:51.566-05:002016-03-12T22:19:51.566-05:00So funny about his partner. You can probably leave...So funny about his partner. You can probably leave off the "mused Dave" since we already are in his POV and we figure it's his inner thought. Good snippet, Chelle, and good luck with the new laptop. :)Siobhan Muirhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13653107467839760917noreply@blogger.com