Saturday, May 31, 2014

A turning point? ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 06/01/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

  
See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Courage of the Heart. Courage of the Heart was originally published by Xlibris in 1999 (BEFORE they went full vanity press) - with no real marketing efforts from the publisher and before I knew much about the subject, it didn't do very well. However it was revised slightly and republished by Vanilla Heart Publishing in 2009 and has enjoyed a healthier reception.

Adam has managed to soften Davie's heart and he has taken her out on a bona-fide date. We're entering during a conversation they are having. By the way, I will probably just do this story for one, maybe two, more weeks. Your commentary has really helped me see the way I present my characters in a very different light and I hope the lessons learned will help my writing get stronger. Thank you.

"…and of course you don't want to get married," Davie really felt she was a long way off from that herself although she eventually did want a family.
"I used to think I didn't," he looked away and left his answer hanging.
"Adam," Davie waited for him to turn back to her, "why are we spending time together?"
He shrugged, "why not?"
"We both know that I'm not your usual type."
"Tell me what my usual type is," Adam grinned; his potent smile was enough to make Davie stammer.
"Uh, you know…older, pretty, sophisticated…and more experienced," she blushed slightly.
He answered her quietly, "you are very pretty, I thought you knew that Davie."
 For more WeWriWa snippets, go to www.wewriwa.com
Sometimes love is the only cure for the very deepest of emotional wounds. The story of the two lovers takes a series of unexpected and fast paced turns where lives, sanity and love are put in jeopardy. Their commitment to one another results in a spirit that binds them together and helps them to overcome physical and emotional dangers.


(excerpt previously published Jan 2009, and yes, it comes AFTER the 8 sentences above))

There is a theory that if you pick up a book and turn to page 69, you will know if the book is interesting or not
so we are putting it to the test...

~~~~~~
p 69

"Really?" He looked really young and boyish for a moment.

"Of course." Davie laughed. "For some stupid reason I do care about what happens to you even though you keep on pushing me away."

"I'm sorry. Sorry about pushing you away, but not about you caring. I like to know that you care about me." He reached for her hand again. "So, what was the occasion for going home?"

Davie bit her lip. "The sixth anniversary of my mom's death."

"I'm sorry, Davie." Adam knew from the way Davie had talked about her mom that she still took her passing very hard. "I'm glad you were able to be there with your dad."

Davie shook her head and grimaced. "He didn't need me."

"Of course he did."

"Nope. What my father needed was privacy." She looked at Adam with a defensive smile. "I walked in on a lovers' tryst."

"What?"

"It seems that Daddy has a girlfriend and they're getting married."

"That's great!" He saw her hurt expression. "Isn't it?"

Davie stood up and began to pace around Adam's bed. "I guess so. I don't know." Sighing, she stopped at the foot of his bed. "I guess I just have to get used to it."

"You really are upset about this." He frowned.

Davie returned to the chair and leaned closer to Adam. It was comfortable to talk with him. "It's just that I never thought my father could love anybody except for my mom."

"It doesn't mean that he doesn't love her."

8 comments:

Frank C. Etier said...

Loyal fan of using dialog to move the story along.
You seem to have a good handle on it.
Kudos!

Millie Burns said...

Nice job Chelle. This sounds like such a familiar conversation. I'm sure lots of folks can relate to it.

Veronica Scott said...

I liked the dialog and I'm glad for your characters that they are talking...seems like probably too much has been left unsaid between them before. Look how involved I am in your story LOL - great 8!

homecomingbook said...

Good dialog.

Charmaine Gordon said...

Sweet, Chelle. The true characters come alive in this snippet. I'm falling in love with them.

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Love the comfortable banter.

Elaine Cantrell said...

I love the way you use dialogue. great excerpt.

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