Saturday, January 23, 2016

Always One More Time, 1st snippet ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / 8sunday / 01/24/16

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the
WeWriWa blog

& check out the
Facebook Snippet Sunday group


I am sharing snippets from a new short story I wrote, Always One More Time. This story has been submitted, and I am pleased to say accepted, however has not yet been published. Hopefully it will be available in the next month or so ~ I will let you know where it is available as soon as that happens.
  

This is a contemporary story. We open with Callie Sanders having just arrived at a address she's been given, she's very hesitant. This is in Callie's POV.

Creative editing alert!  Here are nine lines... 


Callie took the slip of paper from her pocket and checked the address; she knew this was the place, the cab driver verified it before he drove off. Standing here was just a stalling tactic and she knew it.
There were five steps up to the porch, she noted how immaculately the snow had been cleared from the steps and the sidewalk she was standing on. The neighborhood seemed quiet; most of the people were probably at work or staying inside shielded from the cold wind.
“Now or never,” Callie spoke to herself, “if you stand here any longer, your feet will be frozen in place, literally.” She stuffed the paper back into her pocket and forced herself onto the first step… and the next, all the way up until she was staring at the door.
She knocked lightly; Callie could hear people inside, there was conversation and music playing. It would have surprised her if someone had answered the door considering how quietly she knocked. Steeling herself, she knocked again, like a normal human being this time.


~~~~~
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 



Have enough courage to trust love
one more time.
And always, one more time.

~ Maya Angelo

15 comments:

Ed Hoornaert said...

Although I wonder why she hangs back, her hesitation is clear. The last line is the best of all.

Kim Magennis said...

I agree with Ed, Chelle. Your last sentence is very impactful! I can feel her reluctance.

Iris B said...

Oh wow, that last sentence raises a lot of questions! i'm intrigued!

Christina Ochs said...

I wonder why she's so reluctant to enter? You've portrayed her hesitation very well!

The Belle in Blue said...

This is just dripping with tension and really makes me want to know the reason for her dread. Looking forward to next week!

~Joyce Scarbrough

Teresa Cypher said...

This is such a good snippet, Chelle. You pulled me in. I was looking over her shoulder. The attention to detail, like how she counted the steps--all of the ways we delay something we're dreading. Nice!

Charmaine Gordon said...

And here comes the story. Exciting and wonderful, I'm sure.

Veronica Scott said...

Poor Callie, she must really not want to be there. I thought you very effectively portrayed her state of mind and reluctance...and left all of us with questions! Great snippet.

Emmy Gatrell said...

Loved the last line! Really get a sense of her already! Great snippet!

Siobhan Muir said...

Sometimes we just have pull ourselves up by our boostraps and forge ahead. Good snippet, Chelle. :)

Caitlin Stern said...

I love all those little delaying tactics. I've done a few of them myself, a time or two--now what will she do when someone answers the knock?

Elaine Cantrell said...

I'm not sure why she's so apprehensive, but I sure like that last line.

Cecilia Corona said...

I can't wait to see who or what's waiting for her on the otherside.

dmorgana said...

I wonder why she's so nervous to be here, and why she's here at all. Very curious.

And this line right here sounds SOOOOO much like one of my characters! I love it: “Now or never,” Callie spoke to herself, “if you stand here any longer, your feet will be frozen in place, literally.”

JTsuruoka said...

I like how you use the images of cold and being frozen to mirror what she's feeling inside. Neat trick!