Saturday, October 8, 2016

A chilly morning ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 10/09/16

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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I'm sharing snippets from HYPHEMA, my second EMS novel. The hero in HYPHEMA was first introduced in Final Sin as the heroine's ambulance partner and best friend.

Matt Garratti, a paramedic from New York, moves his wife and son to North Carolina to work at his dream job as a flight medic. Pakistani born Sudah, his wife, receives frosty stares and insensitive comments from their new neighbors… Matt wonders if he is pursuing his dream or bringing his family into a nightmare from which they may never wake.

Matt is dressed and ready for work - just a bit of conversation between him and his wife..


Creative editing (a.k.a. condensed to fit) alert!  Here are Ten lines...  

Damn that’s good. The hot coffee sliding down his gullet was welcomed to ward off the chilly morning, Matt stared out the kitchen window and noticed droplets of ice crystals against the pane, it was early and still dark outside.
Delicate brown arms wound around his waist.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Matt covered both of his wife’s hands with one of his own; maybe it was the early spring chill in the air, but he really wanted to crawl back into bed with her.
“I wanted to be awake with you,” Sudah snuggled under his arm and slid against his body until she was facing him. She gently ran a hand up the crisp uniform shirt until she touched his shield, “You look so handsome in your uniform, I am very proud to be married to such a hero.”
Matt chuckled, Sudah never missed an opportunity to praise him and bolster his ego, “I love you, do you want me to light the stove for you before I leave, it’ll help warm the place up a bit.”
“No, I will take care of it later if I need to, I do not want to leave it burning until I am ready to be in here.”
Matt loved the old wood stove that sat in the corner of the kitchen, it threw heat into the living area and was great defense against the early morning dampness.
She looked at the clock and reminded him that he had to get going if he was to get to work on time.
  

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2 comments:

Nancy Gideon said...

What a wonderfully tender scene! Love these characters already, Chelle.

Kim Magennis said...

I love the gentleness of this scene, Chelle. So beautiful!