Those of us who were raised by
parents who survived the depression era often received lectures about the
necessity of being frugal, repairing things instead of replacing, and working around
the little difficulties wherever possible. Most of today’s parents have always
wanted to give our children more than we had, to never make them wear an older
cousin’s hand-me-downs, to always get the favorite new toy advertised for the holiday
season, and to accept and expect the seeming planned obsolescence of many
consumable goods.
We can forgive the overindulgent
parents who want to see their children happy and even feel for the parents who
can’t afford the expensive IN toy their child craves. But still the concept of
mending clothing or gluing household items back together is quickly being
discounted more often than not. Under the umbrella term of decluttering some
toss all “extras” whether it’s mail that comes in, newspapers, a chipped candy
dish, or leftover food. Homes are bought not with the intention of building a
life there but as stepping stones to the next bigger edifice to fit more
possessions that will be tossed at some future point.
Is our throwaway society so strong an
influence that we find it easy to discard previously memorable keepsakes like
wedding gowns, heirloom candlesticks and old live letters between our parents?
And has this ease to toss stuff out of our lives moved on to friendships, pets
and even marriages? Young couples talk of pre-nups even in the “average”
marriage; while there may be justification when family fortunes, corporations or
children from a previous union are involved, isn’t signing a pre-nuptial
agreement a little like planning to get divorced even before you say “I Do”?
More and more couples who do hit rough patches look to put more distance
between themselves rather than working things through (with or without
therapists) and making the changes that could save their marriage.
Sometimes that article of clothing is
beyond repair or totally unusable, and sometimes relationships need compromises
that one or both won’t, or can’t, consider, but we need to learn when to hang on
before we decide to let go. We have become so scared of being labeled hoarders
that sometimes we resist sentimentality and even practicality. Life should have
some attachments, there has got to be a better balance where we can decide something
is worth fixing.
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