Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
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Welcome to a snippet from Courage of the Heart. Courage of the Heart was originally published by Xlibris in 1999 (BEFORE they went full vanity press) - with no real marketing efforts from the publisher and before I knew much about the subject, it didn't do very well. However it was revised slightly and republished by Vanilla Heart Publishing in 2009 and has enjoyed a healthier reception.
Feeling rejected by Adam - again - Davie takes a bus to visit her father in time for the anniversary of her mother's passing. It's always been her habit to be with him to remember her mom together, but since she was busy the night before taking care of the very sick Adam she never got around to calling her dad about her visit. Spurned by one of the men in her life, she was ready to be comforted by her father. Imagine her surprise when she walks in on him and his special lady-friend. (btw, "Gizzy" is her childhood dog that still lives at home.)
Feeling rejected by Adam - again - Davie takes a bus to visit her father in time for the anniversary of her mother's passing. It's always been her habit to be with him to remember her mom together, but since she was busy the night before taking care of the very sick Adam she never got around to calling her dad about her visit. Spurned by one of the men in her life, she was ready to be comforted by her father. Imagine her surprise when she walks in on him and his special lady-friend. (btw, "Gizzy" is her childhood dog that still lives at home.)
Davie stared out the bedroom window into the dark night, she couldn’t
sleep; there were so many things running through her mind. Gizzy was snoring as
he lay at her feet. She was still upset that Adam had forced her to leave and
she was confused to find that her father was moving on with his life without
her mother and without Davie’s blessing if need be.
She had been surprised to see her father's tears at the cemetery; her
father's grieving over the loss of her mother comforted Davie, at the same time
she felt terrible seeing his pain. They had gone to church together and she sat
with his arm around her shoulders, it was good to be with him and just him.
Davie was grateful that Elizabeth understood that she would only be intruding.
On the drive home from the church, he told her that they would be
having dinner with Elizabeth and that's when the fighting started.
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Sometimes love is the only cure for the very deepest of emotional wounds. The story of the two lovers takes a series of unexpected and fast paced turns where lives, sanity and love are put in jeopardy. Their commitment to one another results in a spirit that binds them together and helps them to overcome physical and emotional dangers.
12 comments:
aww, poor Davie. Readers can't help but sympathize with her. It's bad enough when your partner doesn't treat you well, but finding out your dad is ready to move on when you're not, just makes everything worse.
Great job with this excerpt. I didn't sign up this week but didn't want to miss your post.
Come on girl, is what I want to say. Your description pulls the reader right into her feelings. I know you'll find a way to make her better, Chelle. You always do.
Great snippet! Enjoyed reading the emotional scene.
I feel her pain, well done, but what makes her think that her father needs her blessing to move on? I hope she comes to realize how self-centered that seems - I hope that's what you meant to convey, anyway.
Is she reacting in part because of Adam's apparent rejection?
I certainly feel some sympathy for Davie, change is always hard, but I'm with the other commenters - good for her Dad he's getting on with life. An interesting snippet!
Davie is so alone right now. It's an awful feeling when your parent is ready to start a new life when you feel they should still be grieving. I could feel her pain and I know her mind must be on high speed. Love It!
Poor baby. :-(
Sue Ann, you made the connection. Davie felt rejected by Adam again and thought she could lose herself in the security of the closeness she had with her dad - only to find he now has someone else to think about. Adam will help her to give her dad's girlfriend a chance and things will get better. One little warning though, Davie and her father are very much alike.
I'm not quite sure how long it has been since her mother passed, but if meeting on the anniversary is a habit, it should be plenty long for the dad to move on.
While she feels blindsided now, I hope she accepts his choice. Then again, if she leaves, she might discover Adam needs her help after all!
What an emotional scene. I feel for poor Davie, but I can't help but feel grateful her father is moving on. Tough situation all around. Great snippet.
After last weekend's snippet, I posted an excerpt from pg 69 of the book http://chellecordero.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-turning-point-weekend-writing.html
In this excerpt Davie tells Adam about her father's girlfriend and how she feels about it
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