Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
See more at the WeWriWa blog
Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin (& step brother) to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.
Alli took Tom home after Brandon asked him to leave. They returned to the hospital at Brandon's request the following morning. The baby is fine and Cat's condition is improved. Brandon admitted that he needed Tom to leave because he didn't want to feel that they were waiting for Caitlyn to die. Tom tells Brandon that he came back to the hospital during the night after having a nightmare about Cat; he found Brandon asleep by her bedside and her sleeping peacefully and doing well.
Alli took Tom home after Brandon asked him to leave. They returned to the hospital at Brandon's request the following morning. The baby is fine and Cat's condition is improved. Brandon admitted that he needed Tom to leave because he didn't want to feel that they were waiting for Caitlyn to die. Tom tells Brandon that he came back to the hospital during the night after having a nightmare about Cat; he found Brandon asleep by her bedside and her sleeping peacefully and doing well.
The elevator doors opened and two uniformed sheriffs and two
plainclothes detectives strode purposely to the little group in the lounge.
The first plainclothes
officer, with a gold detective’s shield hanging from a chain around his neck,
stood directly in front of Tom, “Thomas Hughes?”
Tom stood up, “yeah?”
“Mr. Hughes, you are
under arrest for the murder of Roy Dunlop.”
Tom was stunned, “he
died?”
“Not another word,” Alli
stopped him quickly, “Mr. Hughes has nothing to say until he’s spoken with his
attorney.”
The detective turned to
her. “And you are?”
“Alli Colton, Esquire, I'm representing Mr. Hughes.”
Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.
Well folks, I think I've milked all I can out of Within the Law - your comments each week have been exceptional and have made me look more critically at my current WIP - Thank you. I am planning to move on to another book next week, A Chaunce of Riches.If you'd like you can read the first 999 words to ACoR in the First Page Review Bloghop, I'll begin the snippets after that excerpt.
10 comments:
Okay, evil author alert...you are mean to poor Tom, this guy never gets a break.
OOh Chelle, I'm sorry, but I love it. This section totally draws me in. Poor Tom is looking pretty guilty. What will happen next? Eek, great eight!
There's something to be learned from Millie's comment. We know Tom will be vindicated but the poor guy has suffered more than enough. Love the story as painful as the progression is. I learn something new every week from WEWRIWA. C to shining C
Sounds like he's in a bit of trouble.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/
WTH!!!! OMG NO way they are seriously arresting him!!! Man this book would have me screaming at my Nook like a crazy person. LOL (that's a good thing)
I'm glad Cait and the baby are fine and that Brandon asked Tom to come back.
Wow, I didn't see that coming - amazing twist! OK, now the book is on my kindle TBR since you're cutting us off at this key point LOL. Great snippet!
I guess I do have a masochistic streak, I always put my heroes through h*ll, I think I find vulnerability and big strong men sexy... or maybe I am just cruel (promise, I am much nicer to the real-life men in my life) Now we'll see how stand-up Alli is for him, convenient that she is a lawyer.
Thank you all for so many constructive comments.
Hmmm. He can't provide an alibi for the previous night.
Oh nice and fast on her feet! Love a heroine like that!!
Wow, I didn't see that coming! Great 8!
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