Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
A long, long time ago I shared a few snippets from my Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Karma Visited (only 5) - and we didn't get a full taste of this . Since I am working on a sequel and revisiting the story for myself, I'm sharing more with you and soaking up your comments.
Do you believe in karma? Annie Furman has a gift that allows her, while she sleeps, to visit people in their time of need - but who will be there for her when she needs help? Undersheriff Dave Turner is investigating a series of home invasions and homicides. He has no idea that solving this case will lead him to the woman of his dreams.
We are still in Annie's dream in Dave's living room. He's offered to help her leave her husband but she tells him she needs to disappear completely and doesn't want anyone else involved. Again she repeats Scott's threat to lock her away...
Creative editing (condensed to fit) alert! Here are Ten lines...
“You can’t just say someone’s crazy and put somebody away.”
“I have a history,” Annie looked away regretting what she had
just blurted out.
Dave slowly changed his seat to sit next to her aura, or
whatever it was he was seeing, “what do you mean you have a history?”
“I was in the car with my parents when we were hit by a truck,
mommy and daddy were killed right away, I was hurt really bad but I was still
alive, for a while at least.”
“What did you mean by a while?”
“I died on the operating table, the doctors brought me back
and I was in a coma for a month or so. I started having nightmares of
disasters, fires, car accidents, earthquakes; the doctors couldn’t explain it
and they told my aunt to take me to a psychiatrist but nobody was able to cure
me.”
“These are the dreams you still have?”
“I didn’t understand that they were real, then when I
realized that I was seeing disasters as they happened, no one wanted to listen
to me, I started lying about the dreams.”
“They thought it was just your imagination,” he still sounded
kind.
~~~~~
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My life changed after I died.
It’s not like I had any special powers.
They just didn’t understand me.
They underestimated me.
I had a gift.
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~~~~~
20 comments:
It wouldn't be too much of a stretch for a doctor to say that this whole dream-conversation is just a psychotic delusion ... unless she can come up with objective proof.
Very true to life, Chelle. How many people classified as psychotic are unknowingly psychic? More than one or two, I guess.
Very true to life, Chelle. How many people classified as psychotic are unknowingly psychic? More than one or two, I guess.
"...he still sounded kind." That line says so much, Chelle. It's four great words of character development.
She needs to stick with this guy!
And here we are in this most interesting story. Thanks, Chelle.
I'm glad she finally has someone who believes her. Great snippet!
~Joyce Scarbrough
Finally, somebody might believ her.
This must be a relief; to talk to someone who isn't dismissing her right away.
Poor her as a kid! I'm glad he's so calm and really listening to her. Excellent excerpt!
It's sad that she's never found anyone who believed her until now. I'm sure that's made her doubt her own sanity.
As if dying weren't already stressful...
Wow, she has had a traumatic life so far. It must be so nice to find someone willing to believe her about the nightmares.
It must be a surprise for her to find someone who believes her, and doesn't brush her dreams off. Intriguing snippet!
How terrible that no one believed her.
I hope he believes her, great snippet. :)
"...he still sounded kind." why does these few words make me worry. I hope he believes her and will also help her! love the story!
People tend to think kids are making things up. Sometimes they are, but sometimes they aren't!
It's so scary to think that she was right all along and everyone believed that she was crazy. I guess lying in this case can be seen as a defense mechanism.
Man oh man, so sad. What a snippet.
I got goosebumbs from that one. So scary and sad that no one ever believed her simply because she was a child. I love how she to refers to her parents as mommy and daddy yet like she's never gotten over their loss. Great emotion.
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