Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
A long, long time ago I shared a few snippets from my Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Karma Visited (only 5) - and we didn't get a full taste of this . Since I am working on a sequel and revisiting the story for myself, I'm sharing more with you and soaking up your comments.
Do you believe in karma? Annie Furman has a gift that allows her, while she sleeps, to visit people in their time of need - but who will be there for her when she needs help? Undersheriff Dave Turner is investigating a series of home invasions and homicides. He has no idea that solving this case will lead him to the woman of his dreams.
Both incredulous, Annie visits Dave in a dream and they talk about the "craziness" of this strange reality. She knows his name from the news broadcast; when he asks her name she won't say more than "Annie".
Creative editing (made to fit) alert! Here are Ten lines...
He smiled, “does Annie have a last
name?”
“I do, but I don’t want to tell you”
His smile deflated, “why not?”
“I could get in a lot of trouble with
my… it’s just better, I don’t want to get someone angry.”
“I noticed your ring the other night,”
Dave lowered his voice, “are you scared of him?”
“He’s not hurting me,” she lied.
“Then why are you scared of him?”
“Threats aren’t always physical.”
Dave narrowed his eyes, “so what is
this… this threat?”
She rested her head against the back
of the couch, “he says he’s going to put me away in a mental hospital, he thinks
I’m crazy because of my dreams.”
~~~~~
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
My life changed after I died.
It’s not like I had any special powers.
They just didn’t understand me.
They underestimated me.
I had a gift.
Buy Links
~~~~~
Kobo https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/hipema
¡En Español! Hipema by Chelle Cordero Now in Kindle, Nook, Kobo, and Apple iBooks (ALL Spanish Editions)
¡en español!
Hipema
Por Chelle Cordero
Hipema: Sangrado en el ojo causado por un trauma…
Matt Garratti, paramédico de Nueva York, se muda con su esposa e hijo a Carolina del Norte para tener el trabajo de sus sueños como paramédico de vuelo. Sudah, su esposa pakistaní, recibe miradas frías y comentarios insensibles de sus nuevos vecinos… Matt se pregunta si está siguiendo su sueño o llevando a su familia a una pesadilla de la que tal vez nunca puedan despertar.
Hipema Links
19 comments:
I think it's very interesting that she is visiting him in a dream and having this conversation. I wonder whether they'll find each other again when awake. Nice snippet!
Indeed. “Threats aren’t always physical.”
How we can be manipulated and controlled by all sorts of nastiness! Excellent snippet, as always, Chelle.
Indeed. “Threats aren’t always physical.”
How we can be manipulated and controlled by all sorts of nastiness! Excellent snippet, as always, Chelle.
Only too believable. Lock up anyone not like you. Intriguing snippet, Chelle.
I guess they're both crazy then!
Wonderful moment and Annie has plenty to worry about.
I agree with Kim. "Threats aren't always physical" is a powerful statement! Great snippet and love the premise for this book.
~Joyce Scarbrough
That last line was chilling. Those scars you can't see are the most damaging. What an awful way for her to live. Not knowing if he'll have her committed.
I do like how they can communicate through the dream.
Ooh, a sequel! Enjoyed the snippet, very effective handling of the whole issue of the threat to her. Ominous, foreboding...just great writing.
Eeek! That's a terrifying possibility. No wonder shes's scared.
Love the blending of reality and the supernatural. She seems to have found a champion in Dave, I think.
No, threats aren't always physical -- but they can lead to physical abuse. I hope Dave realizes that so he can help her get away from him.
A very good reason to fear him!
Scary. Definitely a threat.
Looked at objectively, Annie should realize that explaining how your husband thinks you're crazy to a man who is only there in a dream isn't the most sane thing she's ever done. Nonetheless, I look forward to her pulling this off and proving she isn't crazy.
Maybe her husband needs a visit from Dave, and a lecture on appropriate behavior.
I wish she would tell him her last name so that Dave could find her and rescue her from her evil husband. Great snippet!
Lots of truths in those few lines, but i liked this one the most “Threats aren’t always physical.” Well done!
"Threats aren't always physical." Great line! And so very true. I'm glad she's actually telling Dave about him, and I do hope he's able to help her in some way. I think she should trust him. I can understand her fear though.
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