Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
I'm sharing snippets from HYPHEMA, my second EMS novel. The hero in HYPHEMA was first introduced in Final Sin as the heroine's ambulance partner and best friend.
Matt Garratti, a paramedic from New York, moves his wife and son to North Carolina to work at his dream job as a flight medic. Pakistani born Sudah, his wife, receives frosty stares and insensitive comments from their new neighbors… Matt wonders if he is pursuing his dream or bringing his family into a nightmare from which they may never wake.
Matt and his co-workers talk at a get together, it will be the first time Matt's new co-workers will be meeting his wife.
Creative editing (a.k.a. condensed to fit) alert!
“Hey guys,” Frankie spoke up, “how’z about some paintball
this weekend, it’ll be a good chance for Matt and his wife to meet the crowd.”
"Ginny and I won't be able to make it, sorry guys, her
folks are coming down," Big John waved off the beginnings of a protest,
"but you four go ahead; besides this way we can save the best for last,
Ginny and I will meet Matt's wife some other time."
Matt shrugged, “I’d have to make sure we can get a sitter for
the baby.”
“My daughter will do it,” Little John made the offer.
“Thanks, I’ll speak to Sudah.”
Frankie leaned forward, “what kind of name is Sudah?”
“She’s from Pakistan.”
“Sounds exotic,” Little John raised his eyebrows comically, “she
pretty?”
Matt nodded.
“Looking forward to meeting her.”
~~~~~
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6 comments:
Perfect guy banter.
He didn't seem to care that she was from Pakistan. I figured that was the way you were headed. My doctor is a lady from Pakistan. I love her.
Interesting discussion!
Oh why do I get a sinking feeling about that "she's pretty" comment considering she is foreign.
You did a wonderful job of keeping this very busy conversation from being confusing. I had no problem following who was speaking when. That takes talent, Chelle! ;-)
I love how nonchalant he is about her being from Pakistan.
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