Wednesday, June 16, 2021


When you enter a relationship, or even just are born into a family, you have a responsibility to care for yourself as well as the people you care about. Yep, that is one of the more important things in any relationship… don’t scare the you-know-what out of those people who love you if you can do ANYTHING to avoid it.


Illness happens, and so do accidents, but when you ignore common sense or act recklessly you are literally betraying the trust that the person(s) who love you have. We are not possessions but when hearts are involved there is a very fragile surface that easily bruises. If you have ever worried about a loved one recovering from severe illness or sat in a hospital waiting room until a surgery is (successfully) completed, I am sure you understand what I mean.


While there are never any real guarantees, things like proper nutrition, avoidance of illicit drugs and excessive alcohol, not smoking, getting sufficient rest, and not taking unnecessary risks while driving or other activities, will help to minimize the chances of your loved one(s) pain and tears because of you. As I already said, sometimes illness does happen — well then follow doctor’s orders and keep things under control, or even better, get cured. And while there are other drivers on the road and sometimes no matter how careful you are there’s a bump or worse, so wear your seatbelt, make sure your car is road-ready, and stay attentive. Always cut the risk down.


Worrying about someone can also play havoc with your own health, but it is hard NOT to worry when someone you love is hurt or ill. Learn ways to relax and not to “worry yourself sick” — yeah, that is a real thing. Learn to focus on the things in front of you, things that you can manage and not let your imagination go places it should not. Being so stressed over things you can’t control will only be made worse by not taking proper care of yourself like forgetting to eat properly, not getting enough sleep, or using crutches like alcohol or drugs. Practice slow deep breathing to help relax your body and your muscles; if necessary, literally “go to a happy place” in your mind, imagine being on that beach or mountain top where you once felt so at peace.


Taking care of yourself when you are worried about someone else is also a responsibility, prevent yourself from getting sick. When your heart feels like it is beating too fast for your own body, your palms feel sweaty, or you begin crying without warning, then perhaps you are suffering from anxiety. In addition to meditation and deep breathing, you can try taking a walk or working out in the gym. Aromatherapy scents such as lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood have been thought to help the mind’s receptors and help to ease some of that anxiety. Writing your thoughts down can also help, looking at the thoughts that are making you anxious might help you realize what is real and what is only imagined, or exaggerated, and may even help you make a plan that will help you feel calmer.


If your anxiety seems out of control and if you really feel paralyzed, unable to function anywhere near normal, or even start contemplating dying, speaking to a licensed therapist would probably help. Don’t allow yourself to drown in panic, guilt, or fear. A professional can help you identify triggers, help you to learn calming methods, or perhaps prescribing anti-anxiety meds, could help. If you need help, get help and take care of yourself.


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