Dream, Dream, Dream…

Do you remember your dreams each night? Do you sometimes wonder if they REALLY were dreams, or perhaps something more ethereal? My husband claims he doesn't dream, I think he just doesn't remember them.

 

I know I've often dreamt of loved ones who have passed, those are often delightful dreams. It wonderful to have moments where I feel as if I've visited or been visited by people I love who are no longer earthbound. Most times I wake in the morning with a rather nice feeling, so many times I wish the dream had lasted longer. Many have said my dreams are only my memories or imagination and while they may be pleasant, they aren't real — I call these folks cynics.

 

When my sister and I were little girls we both had dreams of being told bedtime stories by our maternal grandfather, the man had died long before we were even born. Often in the mornings we would tell our mom about the "nice man who told us bedtime stories" (not always together, so we certainly weren't mimicking each other). Curiously she asked us about this "mystery man", we each described him and her eyes widened, and then we told her some of the stories he told us… seems he was telling us some of the same stories he would read to her as a little girl. We agreed, this wasn't any simple dream.

 

The other night I had a bittersweet and amusing dream. Since we were first married, we've always had multiple cats and since cats have a shorter life expectancy than most humans, we have unfortunately had to bury several. Each one has remained in our hearts. My dream seemed a little odd, my husband and I were both in it… we were visiting "someplace" which I didn't recognize, and we were surrounded by lots of talking and standing-tall cats and dogs, some of whom called us Mom and Dad. In my dream I remember being in awe and saying, "These are cats and they're talking!" Each was excited to talk to us and tell us they were having fun and they were okay.

 

Then, in my "dream" (shortly before I woke up) we had to leave. We went down a level and I looked up and they were there waving, I asked "Aren't you coming?" and whoever was guiding us towards an elevator said "They have to stay, but you'll see them again." I actually felt a bit happy when I woke, I felt as if I had been visiting them after a long time. Maybe it was a dream, but then again, maybe it was more.

 

During Friday evening services in our synagogue we sing a song Shalom Aleichem, basically we welcome new angels and say goodbye to others. Depending on the faith you believe in, angels can be messengers, and sometimes they can carry you to visit loved ones, or the other way around, while you sleep. Unfortunately, we can't simply order up a "trip", it just happens, I guess, when it is supposed to. It is a comforting feeling to know that occasionally we are permitted a glimpse of loved ones and perhaps a little conversation. Maybe our loved ones can become our own Guardian Angels.

 

Maybe it's the angels helping us, or maybe it is really just dreams — what do you think?

 

 

 

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF

When you enter a relationship, or even just are born into a family, you have a responsibility to care for yourself as well as the people you care about. Yep, that is one of the more important things in any relationship… don’t scare the you-know-what out of those people who love you if you can do ANYTHING to avoid it.

 

Illness happens, and so do accidents, but when you ignore common sense or act recklessly you are literally betraying the trust that the person(s) who love you have. We are not possessions but when hearts are involved there is a very fragile surface that easily bruises. If you have ever worried about a loved one recovering from severe illness or sat in a hospital waiting room until a surgery is (successfully) completed, I am sure you understand what I mean.

 

While there are never any real guarantees, things like proper nutrition, avoidance of illicit drugs and excessive alcohol, not smoking, getting sufficient rest, and not taking unnecessary risks while driving or other activities, will help to minimize the chances of your loved one(s) pain and tears because of you. As I already said, sometimes illness does happen — well then follow doctor’s orders and keep things under control, or even better, get cured. And while there are other drivers on the road and sometimes no matter how careful you are there’s a bump or worse, so wear your seatbelt, make sure your car is road-ready, and stay attentive. Always cut the risk down.

 

Worrying about someone can also play havoc with your own health, but it is hard NOT to worry when someone you love is hurt or ill. Learn ways to relax and not to “worry yourself sick” — yeah, that is a real thing. Learn to focus on the things in front of you, things that you can manage and not let your imagination go places it should not. Being so stressed over things you can’t control will only be made worse by not taking proper care of yourself like forgetting to eat properly, not getting enough sleep, or using crutches like alcohol or drugs. Practice slow deep breathing to help relax your body and your muscles; if necessary, literally “go to a happy place” in your mind, imagine being on that beach or mountain top where you once felt so at peace.

 

Taking care of yourself when you are worried about someone else is also a responsibility, prevent yourself from getting sick. When your heart feels like it is beating too fast for your own body, your palms feel sweaty, or you begin crying without warning, then perhaps you are suffering from anxiety. In addition to meditation and deep breathing, you can try taking a walk or working out in the gym. Aromatherapy scents such as lavender, chamomile, and sandalwood have been thought to help the mind’s receptors and help to ease some of that anxiety. Writing your thoughts down can also help, looking at the thoughts that are making you anxious might help you realize what is real and what is only imagined, or exaggerated, and may even help you make a plan that will help you feel calmer.

 

If your anxiety seems out of control and if you really feel paralyzed, unable to function anywhere near normal, or even start contemplating dying, speaking to a licensed therapist would probably help. Don’t allow yourself to drown in panic, guilt, or fear. A professional can help you identify triggers, help you to learn calming methods, or perhaps prescribing anti-anxiety meds, could help. If you need help, get help and take care of yourself.