Worth…

Several years ago, I had a rather ugly argument (one sided, really, HE was arguing) with someone I once thought rather highly of.

 

He was a veteran, and I certainly gave him kudos for that, but we were talking of some people we knew who, by choice or providence, did not join the military. This individual was very irate and insulting to some people I knew — in this specific case, a couple of first responders. His attitude was that they had "no value" compared to him and his fellow vets (yes, those were his words). 

I was annoyed and said (not verbatim) that our military defends our shores, but that EMS, firefighters and police were our first defense in our cities.

 

His statement was ironically that these people wore Halloween costumes to make themselves feel important!

 

I would never dismiss the heroism and sacrifice of our military members (which I am proud to say I am related to several from past to present). But if these past few years (actually since 2001) haven't proven the value of our EMS, firefighters and police (as well as healthcare and other security details)… Wow! (Ironically the above-mentioned argument took place AFTER 9/11)

 

Our country lost more than 400 emergency service members at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. In 2005 thousands of first responders went to New Orleans and other areas after Hurricanes Katrina and Rita devastated the city. And these past two years our EMS, FD and police forces and hospital workers country wide have worked around the clock to try to save Covid victims, often at great personal risk to themselves, many dying.

 

Not everyone can save peoples' lives, fight fires, or fight in a war. But EVERYONE can do something to help enrich the lives of the people in this country and the world. Everyone has WORTH in our society when they help others; Sunday school teachers, Meals on Wheels drivers, youth group leaders, volunteers (and employees) at animal shelters, volunteer readers at the library, fundraisers for charities, and more. If you are doing something to help others, 

YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH TO THE REST OF US. Everybody should do what they are able to for their communities, for our country, and for our world.

 

Thank you to all who put yourselves out there for others.

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YELLOW JOURNALISM

 

I work as a part-time journalist as well as a romance author and am I aware that scintillating stories and descriptions allegedly sell books and papers… but I totally detest the concept of “Yellow Journalism”.

 

“Yellow journalism and yellow press are American terms for journalism and associated newspapers that present little or no legitimate, well-researched news while instead using eye-catching headlines for increased sales.^[  Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.” (Wikipedia)

 

I want to read or watch the news for facts, details and not just to see people crying or in misery. The recent tragedy in Miami was used by media to attract viewers and readers. It is horrible and sad news about all the people who perished, but very little, if any, news was shared about the heroes who combed through the piles of what was once a building to rescue LIVING beings. Crews came from many places in our nation, they combed through the rubble for, in some cases, people they had never even heard of. Others provided food and shelter to those who lost their home.

 

We heard very little, if anything, about the efforts of rescuers, those who came to offer aid, and tales of families who were fortunate enough to be reunited. I scoured several articles and while I know I didn’t get to all of them, there wasn’t a single mention of the people who were actually saved by heroes. Yes, the tragic facts were that people died, it was unexpected and heartbreaking and by all means important. BUT people also survived and helped others to survive and that is news too.

 

How many times have TV reporters shown up, reported on the “story” and then lengthened their broadcast by thrusting the microphones at crying witnesses and simply asking, over and over again, “How do you feel?” As a former first responder I can tell you that seeing someone die in a tragic accident NEVER feels good… so why keep pressing those who are emotionally hurting to boost ratings with their despair? Stick to the facts, good and bad, to me that’s news.

 

A few decades ago my husband was working as a news photographer for a local newspaper. Part of his job was to listen in on emergency channels and photograph news events as they were happening. There was the one day he came across a devastating house fire. The family, including children and pets, all made it out alive thanks to the heroic actions of the responding firefighters. The house and everything they owned, in the material sense, was gone. 

Mark took dramatic photos of the parents hugging their children with tears running down their faces. He had shots of firefighters covered in soot and still entering the house to save whatever and whoever they could. When he got his photos back to the newspaper editor, the first question the man asked was “Did anybody die?” Mark answered, “No the firefighters saved them all.” The editor gave a simple answer which absolutely stunned my husband, “Too bad. That won’t sell.”

 

Please, News Editors for newspapers and TV media, give us news and facts, not sensationalism. We have enough soap operas and TV dramas to fill our appetites for scandals and tears. Let’s celebrate some of the good that happens, the heroes that come through for us, and the tragedies that “could have been worse” if not for the quick actions and selflessness of others.

 

Good Cop, Bad Cop

First off, let me say I LOVE cops. Before I was married I had even applied to the NYPD and did very well on the tests, it was a strong possibility that I would even have been in the first class after my test date — except New York City had a major financial crisis that year (1974) and not only disbanded that list of potential recruits, but I understand they let go of the then-current academy class. It was about one or two years later that I received a letter inviting me back, although I would have to pass another physical. By that time I was married and had moved away from the city, and I decided not to pursue it.

 

While I never regretted my decision, I have often thought of how things in life might have been different had I actually gone into the academy and got on the force… still, no regrets. I have always had an affinity for first responders. I met my husband while we were both volunteering for the Auxiliary Police at a local precinct. Nowadays I have family in all arms of first response and I admire and am so proud of each one. Each man and woman in uniform is out there with every intention of doing good for every member of the community that they are sworn to "serve and protect".

 

That being said, I am so disappointed when I hear of an abuse of power. Those FEW officers ruin it for everyone else. When I good and honest police officer is out on the street and has to deal with the distrust and criticisms directed at him/her because of actions of a few over-zealous members, it makes their already difficult job harder. One of my relatives, an officer in his department, actually told me that no one is angrier at an abusive cop than all of the other GOOD cops He hates it when, especially a child, someone is scared of him just because he has a uniform on.

 

It is so sad when the actions of many are judged because of the actions of a few because of their uniform, color, gender or age. Mistrust grows with each “nasty” encounter and people on both sides tend to over-react. Communities are scared of police and cop-families are scared that their loved ones might not return because they hesitated. And indeed, there are those with malicious intent on all sides, and more who react out of fear because of previous incidents — and it is always the FEW who make it worse for everyone else. And when you actually take a moment it’s clear that most people, cops and civilians, aren’t looking for violent encounters.

 

I heard an expression recently that just because you hate “police brutality” doesn’t mean you hate all police because that would be the same as saying just because you hate child abuse then you hate all parents. You can believe in the BLM movement and still support your police at the same time. These days it is tough to be a cop AND it is tough to be a young black man on the street. Somehow we have to find a way to work together, stealing an old song title, we have to find a way to “give peace a chance”.

I’m Insulted…

Like many of us, I haven’t gotten to actually SEE and be with any of my kids for about two months now. We have two that we’ve raised and two that have joined our family and I miss each one of them. Yes we’ve spoken on the phone and actually had a few video chats but I miss being able to hug them. The holidays were a letdown, we usually make a point of having a Passover Seder together, but it didn’t happen this year. Yes, I know that has been the case for most parents of grown children. And I feel weepy and miss them so much.

And what really, really bothers me most is I know how many other people they see every single day… You see all four of them are first responders. Two of them are working “in-house” positions along with others, and two of them are riding in ambulances and treating innumerable patients all day long — sometimes their hours are so long that they are too exhausted to answer their phones or return text messages. I am so damn proud of each of them, they are heroes.

I am not insulted because my kids don’t have the time to see me, or that they can’t because of social distancing. I am insulted by the fact that so many people just assume that there will be a response each time they call 911 and they seem to forget the sacrifices that each responder makes often for very little pay. I am insulted by the fact that all these highly trained individuals, of which my children are a part of, are forgotten when the crisis is over. Heck some of them aren’t even considered to be ESSENTIAL even though they are risking their own lives with every single patient and every single time tones go out.

For now everyone is referring to our FRONTLINE during this Coronavirus crisis and thanking them with thoughtful meals and cards, blue ribbons on trees, and cheers. What is going to happen when this crisis is over? Will our first responders be forgotten again? Will most of today’s heroes have to continue working multiple jobs to pay their bills? I’ve seen it happen before and I worry that it will happen again.

It’s time to recognize our TRUE heroes, the ones who respond to cries for help, the ones who save our lives even when it puts them at risk. Make a list NOW of them people you are able to depend upon for all of the important stuff — all the people who come when you dial 911, all the people who restock the grocery store shelves, all the people who maintain the roads so that trucks can get through with supplies, all the nurses and doctors in the ER and ICU, our military and National Guard, the people who man the food shelters… these are the people we need to value, we need to thank, and we need to remember.

Heroes of Both Sexes

Several years ago I made the astonishing discovery that I liked putting my book’s heroes in the hospital… well maybe not liked, but I did it anyway. I even wrote a blog about it. Lately I have been giving my inclination to make my heroes suffer some more introspection.

While I admit I like to see all of my characters with a little touch of vulnerability (males and females) I have discovered what I enjoy more is the opportunity for one, or more, of my characters to step up, step forward, and shoulder some of the strength that is needed for everyone to pull through okay. 

Coming from a family filled with first-responders and military personnel, it is not strange at all for me to see courage, compassion and outright heroics from both the men and women that surround me. My close friends and family have displayed pure compassion, generosity, nurturing, encouragement and unbelievable skills in the face of any crisis, in response to any person (or animal’s) needs, and true caring (both emotional and physical) when someone needs the kindness.

I have tried to show both my heroes and heroines with strength and courage when their own partners need them or as an invincible team. The blurb for my book Annie’s Karma reads, “Annie Furman moves on from her past and into her future with Undersheriff Dave Turner. Her gifts – or are they her curse? – grow stronger, and she finds out that she is not alone in the realm of astral travel. Dave saved her life, now she has to fight another ‘traveler’ to save Dave… if she survives.” This is the story of a strong man AND a strong woman.

I have several stories where the WOMAN steps up to save the day and her big, strong hunk can rely on her strength. In Within the Law, when Tom is accused of murder, the important lady in his life, who just happens to be a lawyer, defends him even risking her own professional reputation. In A Chaunce of Riches Ben finds out just how far Samantha was and is willing to go to save his life and protect him. Then there is Courage of the Heart where Davie’s love, trust and commitment to Adam saves him and gives him the ability to save them both.

I could tell you more but I think you get the point — I like strong men AND strong women. I like it when the ‘hero’ in HEROine does describe her. It’s okay to throw in a touch of damsel in distress, but it is also pretty wonderful when it is her man in distress and she is there to save the day. It is really great when two people are there for each other, it’s just that simple. Be a hero with your love, your attentiveness, your commitment and your courage. Be a hero for the people who depend on you most.

Please share some of the heroes in your life.

#TBT - September 11, 2001 Never Forget...

We use the #Throwback Thursday meme to remember things from the past, what happened on 9/11/01 is a memory I am sure many of us wish we didn't have...

Never forget the innocent souls that we lost on that day and never forget the way the world changed.

We saw the opening of the

this year

"The National September 11 Memorial is a tribute of remembrance and honor to the nearly 3,000 people killed in the terror attacks of September 11, 2001 at the World Trade Center site, near Shanksville, Pa., and at the Pentagon, as well as the six people killed in the World Trade Center bombing in February 1993."

Rockland County Residents

Janet M. Alonso 41 Stony Point NY
Calixto Anaya Jr. 35 Suffern NY
Japhet J. Aryee 49 Spring Valley NY
Richard E. Bosco 34 Suffern NY
Sgt. John Gerard Coughlin 43 Pomona NY
Welles Remy Crowther 24 Upper Nyack NY
John D' Allara 47 Pearl River NY
Bernard D. Favuzza 52 Suffern NY
Thomas Foley 32 West Nyack NY
Andrew Fredericks 40 Suffern NY
Robert Joseph Gschaar 55 Spring Valley NY
Dana Hannon 29 Suffern NY
Capt. Frederick Ill Jr. 49 Pearl River NY
Farah Jeudy 32 Spring Valley NY
Joseph Marchbanks Jr. 47 Nanuet NY
John Marshall 35 Congers NY
Patricia A. McAneney 50 Pomona NY
Robert Garvin McCarthy 33 Stony Point NY
Robert William McPadden 30 Pearl River NY
Luke G. Nee 44 Stony Point NY
Gerald O'Leary 34 Stony Point NY
David Ortiz 37 Nanuet NY
Lt. Vernon Allan Richard 53 Nanuet NY
Thomas G. Schoales 27 Stony Point NY
Mohammed Shajahan 41 Spring Valley NY
Gregory Sikorsky 34 Spring Valley NY
Catherine T. Smith 44 West Haverstraw NY
Robert W. Spear Jr. 30 Valley Cottage NY
Loretta A, Vero 51 Nanuet NY
Benjamin Walker 41 Suffern NY
Weibin Wang 41 Orangeburg NY
Steven Weinberg 41 New City NY

Capt. David T. Wooley 53 Nanuet NY

for a complete list: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/index.html

Scripture tells us "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." There's no better way to honor the best in those who died than by discovering the best in ourselves. (President Obama, 9/11/2012, Pentagon Memorial Service)

12 years ago, sometimes it feels like yesterday...

Scripture tells us "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." There's no better way to honor the best in those who died than by discovering the best in ourselves. (President Obama, 9/11/2012, Pentagon Memorial Service)

Rockland County Residents

Janet M. Alonso 41 Stony Point NY
Calixto Anaya Jr. 35 Suffern NY
Japhet J. Aryee 49 Spring Valley NY
Richard E. Bosco 34 Suffern NY
Sgt. John Gerard Coughlin 43 Pomona NY
Welles Remy Crowther 24 Upper Nyack NY
John D' Allara 47 Pearl River NY
Bernard D. Favuzza 52 Suffern NY
Thomas Foley 32 West Nyack NY
Andrew Fredericks 40 Suffern NY
Robert Joseph Gschaar 55 Spring Valley NY
Dana Hannon 29 Suffern NY
Capt. Frederick Ill Jr. 49 Pearl River NY
Farah Jeudy 32 Spring Valley NY
Joseph Marchbanks Jr. 47 Nanuet NY
John Marshall 35 Congers NY
Patricia A. McAneney 50 Pomona NY
Robert Garvin McCarthy 33 Stony Point NY
Robert William McPadden 30 Pearl River NY
Luke G. Nee 44 Stony Point NY
Gerald O'Leary 34 Stony Point NY
David Ortiz 37 Nanuet NY
Lt. Vernon Allan Richard 53 Nanuet NY
Thomas G. Schoales 27 Stony Point NY
Mohammed Shajahan 41 Spring Valley NY
Gregory Sikorsky 34 Spring Valley NY
Catherine T. Smith 44 West Haverstraw NY
Robert W. Spear Jr. 30 Valley Cottage NY
Loretta A, Vero 51 Nanuet NY
Benjamin Walker 41 Suffern NY
Weibin Wang 41 Orangeburg NY
Steven Weinberg 41 New City NY

Capt. David T. Wooley 53 Nanuet NY

for a complete list: http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/memorial/index.html