RAINN and other well-known
sources have been citing appalling statistics about sexual assault and abuse in
America since 1994. However it wasn’t until 2016 and 2017 when a deluge of
sexual assault/abuse/harassment allegations against famous personalities came
to the forefront that most people started mouthing the words, “I can’t believe
how many allegations...” Earlier this year Facebook saw a huge amount of their
members posting #MeToo representing those of us who suffered in silence and in
solidarity; most posters were women although several men joined in as well.
Do you feel as if you’ve been bombarded by the amount of
women, men and (former) children who have stepped up with their stories of
abuse? According to RAINN’s most recent facts “1 out of every 6 American women
has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime” and “About
3% of American men have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their
lifetime.” There are even more disturbing facts when you consider that “From
2009-2013, Child Protective Services agencies substantiated, or found strong
evidence to indicate that, 63,000 children a year were victims of sexual abuse.”
For more statistics visit https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem
.
Have these numbers bothered you yet? Think about the teen-age
girls traveling the NYC subways during rush hour, when bodies are jam-packed against
one another and suddenly there is a hand exploring their genital area (or
worse) — I know this happened often to my travel companions and myself during
our high school years. There are too many stories about women being
propositioned in return for otherwise well-deserved work promotions and far too
many stories where the advances were turned down and yet the word NO held no
meaning. Of course most of us are highly offended hearing about children who were molested
by that favorite “Uncle” (or “Aunt”) and then dismissed when they tried to tell
Mommy and Daddy. I know there are horror stories about men being victimized by women as
well and also same-sex assaults.
There is a sad sickness in our society when a woman is blamed
for getting raped because she was walking home alone at night, or when a
14-year old child “allows” an adult to liberties. How twisted is the logic that
believes a prisoner in jail, even for minor infractions, “deserves” to be
raped? And why do we find different standards and excuses based on someone’s
political position, financial status, being a movie star, or his/her skin color or sexual preference? How
can any decent human being believe that a woman who doesn't want it and fights cannot be raped?! Why
do some states treat marital rape, even though illegal in all 50 states,
different when it comes to punishment? And why are there so many complaints about college administrations who hide the incidence of rape and sexual assault
rather than pursuing full police investigations and arrests?
I am aware that there will be someone reading this who will
offer up the possibility of false accusations and the permanent damage that can
cause the unjustly blamed. Yes, false accusations can cause lifetime trauma
leading to broken marriages, loss of employment and even worse. But I honestly
believe that the actual incidence of rape and unwanted sexual encounters, even
those that are not prosecuted, are far more common than false allegations; in
this instance we hope that the law and juries can see through to the truth. But
I will admit feelings of anger when the reaction to an accusation is
automatically greeted with the assumption that the victim is crying “wolf”.
Knowing how many of us were compelled to post “#MeToo” is
sad. And learning how many rape and assault survivors have felt they had to
keep silent because their character would be questioned or condemned is tragic.
…just my thoughts,
Chelle Cordero,
author of The Survivor Series: Bartlett’s Rule & Courage of the Heart
Chelle Cordero,
author of The Survivor Series: Bartlett’s Rule & Courage of the Heart
