Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
I'm continuing with
A Chaunce of Riches - Ben has been hired as a bodyguard for a rich widow and her son. In a seemingly cruel coincidence, last week Ben and Samantha saw each other for the first time after many years. (
creative punctuation has been used)
When she was sure her voice could sound
nearly normal, she smiled sweetly, “It’s good to see you again Ben.” It was
difficult to look at him and not remember things she had no right to remember; she
absentmindedly played with one of the short tousled curls that framed her face.
He couldn’t ignore the diamond encrusted
wedding band she wore on her left hand, he chuckled softly and cynically,
“Well, now I know why you left.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never realized how much money meant to
you,” he couldn’t help it, he would always be bitter. “When I heard that you
got married and left for Europe, I thought it was because you thought I could
never be a whole man again, but I really thought you would have at least waited
to see. Now I understand, he probably flashed some bills in your face, that was
all that it took, wasn’t it?”
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The day that Ben Johnson was hired as a bodyguard for some rich widow and her kid, he never expected to be working for the woman who had abandoned him just when he had needed her the most so many years before. Damn it all, he still wanted her. Samantha Chaunce never thought she would see him again. She never thought she would have to explain why she married the rich man over the man she had sworn she once loved. And she certainly never expected to find out that her rich husband had been murdered and fingers were pointing to her former lover.
An Amazon Customer Review
Personal conflict kicks off at the very start of Ms. Cordero's A Chaunce of Riches, as widower Samantha Chaunce comes face to face with a man from her past - Ben Johnson. She told him she loved him oh-so-long ago, and then she departed in the arms of another.
The personal tension between them stands out even against the backdrop of suspense and intrigue - for someone murdered Samantha's wealthy husband. Is it all a matter of money? Or is it an affair of the heart? And...unexpectedly we must now worry; either way, was it Ben?
Suspicions impact all the other emotions Samantha must battle through. And for Ben; it's merely another slap in the face to find his client is his once-lover. And more; for Sam was a trusted friend, since childhood. She let him down back when he so desperately needed her - and now the shoe is on the other foot. Was it all for money?
Samantha's son, eight-year-old, rather sad Phillip drags Ben into the home, and into this unpredictable intrigue. For Julian, the dead husband, seems to have the power to reach beyond the grave to control what was his... and how and why that came to be is the biggest secret of all; something Ben never even guessed.
Nothing is simple in the complex tale of love, danger, and this shared, almost-mourned, past. The past is important here, but once or twice, hearing that history slows the action. However, the two main characters are both strong, edgy people, and their history together creates a rather unusual relationship between the two. There is anger, resentment, yet, somehow, there is an enduring trust that becomes more and more important in the face of danger.
The very focused plot keeps us madly turning the pages, right to the very end. Yet, it's the romantic in us that is waiting, and so hoping, that they are both the people we think they are...that somehow, out of all this emotional clutter, disaster and more, they can find their way to true feeling. The story is simply super on all counts. Mark A Chaunce of Riches a Must-Read.
11 comments:
This story sounds like a winner, Chelle! Can't wait to read it. :)
No one will ever be able to accuse him of not being blunt. Great snippet!
ohh that's not going well already. Am really interested in how she responds to *that*.
This leaves the reader needing to know more about what happened in the past and what happens next. Thanks for a terrific eight.
Oh, ouch! I hope she lets him have it for that crack!
Wow, these two are going to have a lot to overcome, I think. Really enjoyed their conversation, great snippet!
Ouch! I like him...
Sounds great!
Not exactly diplomatic, is he?
Well, at least he's lain his cards on the table for her - there should be no question as to how he feels! I like that you chose for him to be direct in this way. Great eight!
Wow! Now that was blunt. I like him. :)
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