Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every
week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished
book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's
snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful
comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's
comments.
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WeWriWa blog
Welcome to a snippet from Bartlett's Rule, my first novel
published with Vanilla Heart Publishing. Even though this piece is already
published, I find receiving your comments helpful as I write future stories -
you strengthen me when I know how well (or not) I communicate with my readers,
and I learn what readers like and don't care for. I really appreciate you for
giving me your time.
After her encounter with Hal, Paige shows up in Lon’s hotel
room (he’s away on a promotional tour) seeking the safety she’s learned in his
arms; they finally make love. While he is thrilled to be with her, Lon is aware
that something is troubling her and he asks her about it. She tells him about
Hal’s extortion (creative punctuation to make it 8):
She looked away, her voice
was nearly inaudible, “everything I had in my account,” she looked at his face
and could see he wasn’t happy; “it was worth it if he’ll stay away.”
It took a few moments before
Lon was able to simply nod, he held her to him; he tried to convince himself
that she had done what was best for her as he ran his hands along her arms then
Lon saw the bruise where Hal had grabbed her, “what’s this, did he do this?” he
was at war with his anger.
Paige looked at her arm and
half smiled, “I’m proud of that.”
“Why?”
“Hal kissed me... against my
will and I bit him, that’s when that happened.”
Lon wanted to kill Hal, but
he also saw she was happy that she had fought; he forced a smile, “you bit
him?”
She nodded.
“I hope it hurt.”
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Bartlett's Rule shares the story of Lon and Paige's love
affair; a romance filled with hardship, emotion, danger and triumph. Falling in
love was never the challenge; being there for each other, knowing just what to
say and making it work is the real test. Paige and Lon are real; they are
human, they cry and they laugh. Paige has to learn to trust. Lon has to learn
to be patient.
The following originally appeared
"it’s time to tell us about that hunky hero in your book."
What's his name?
Lon Bartlett
Why did you pick that name?
I always look up names (usually under baby names) for their meanings. In this case “Lon” means “ready to do battle”; the name Lon also reminds me of a Lion (without the “I” of course!). The Bartlett surname appears many times throughout history (politicians, publishers, racecar drivers, sports figures, philosophers and writers) and is also used for a collection of quotations. Besides, the title Bartlett’s Rule just seems to roll off of the tongue comfortably.
Give us a brief description of how he looks.
I picture Lon as a big (maybe about 6 foot to 6’2”) man and yet graceful. More to do with image and less to do with vanity, I picture him working out and keeping trim and fit. Because of his public image, he probably has his hair professionally styled and his clothing personally tailored. All in all, he is very comfortable “in his own skin”.
Is there anything unusual about his appearance?
He definitely is the type of man who would attract stares from most women.
Who does he love? Why?
His romantic love interest is Paige Andrews. In the beginning he believes his love for Paige stems more from a need to protect her but then he comes to realize that he admires her strength and appreciates how she makes him feel. He also has a very deep and friendly love for his publicist, Shell, who once was a romantic liaison and now is simply his best friend.
Does this person love him?
Yes, Paige loves him even though her love and need for him scares her.
Tell us about his family. Are they important to him?
While his family is only mentioned in the story, it is obvious that his closeness with his parents and the way he was raised is a big reason for the self-confidence he has.
Where is he from?
Lon has settled in the very urban and bustling New York City.
Does his hometown affect his behavior, thoughts and attitude?
Lon is very “metropolitan” and used to the hectic pace. He is also used to fine restaurants, doormen, and public scrutiny.
What does he want out of life?
He wants Paige in his life. Lon also wants something more than the shallow relationships that have helped to promote his image.
What's his biggest secret? (Only share if it isn't a spoiler in the story.)
All I can say is that Lon learns he has no regrets for his actions if it means protecting the ones he loves.
Did you write more than one story about him?
So far Bartlett’s Rule is the only story with Lon Bartlett. Who knows though? That could change.
How would he describe you?
Lon respects me for being a strong-willed woman who is not afraid to voice my opinions.
Is there anything else about your hero that we need to know? Feel free to share.
Lon truly adores women. Of course he enjoys sex but he also is thrilled when he can engage in intelligent conversation with a woman.
8 comments:
If she bit him as he was kissing her--ouch!
Humor and angst mixed so well. Super eight, Ms. Cordero.
That was some deep dialogue. I was surprised that he hoped the bite didn't hurt. I guess he said that because he wants to inflict the pain on Hal? Great snippet!
I hope he bumps into Hal in a dark alley on a dark night...
I like your hero. Even though he's angry, he's aware of Paige's feelings. A good guy.
Trying to buy someone off rarely works. They just come back for more.
Interesting story going on. I'm glad your heroine felt she could fight back but I'm sure there's much more to come. Excellent excerpt, feels very realistic.
I hope it hurt, too!
Ii agree with Sue Ann. I bet your story does, too. :-)
Good 8, Chelle :-)
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