Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
Justin and Layne have an (almost) peaceful lunch, she is still very much on guard about his motives; Dennis (their son) had taken a store flyer from the back of Justin's car when he drove him to school and shown it to Layne - the (chain) store is Justin's family company so she knows he's got money. Justin mistakenly thinks that it's safe to discuss his plans...
(the following has been edited to fit) ...and now the
"I
spoke with my lawyer..."
Layne
was instantly alert, "what did you need to speak to your lawyer about?"
"I want
to set up a trust fund for Dennis."
"Why?”
"To
help provide for him," he saw how defensive she was.
"We've
done fine without your help for six years," she stood and took the empty
soup bowls back into the kitchen and hid her trembling hands.
"I
didn't say you haven't," he followed her, "look, I've got some
money..."
"And
I don't, so we should be thankful and all that happy crap. I've managed to
raise Dennis on things that are a lot more important than money," she
turned her back to him and began washing the bowls, "I know all about J.
Ross Paint and Lumber."
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.
~~~~~~~~
At least in the northern hemisphere late fall and winter are a cold, cold time; of course there is one way to warm yourself and chase the chill from your bones... ahem. Anyway, it stands to reason that there are a lot of people born in July and August (my own two children are prime examples - Marc on July 8 & Jenni on August 9)
There are also a lot of notable writers born in the summer months, here are a few born in July: How many have YOU read?
Herman Hesse: July 2, 1877- August 9, 1962Franz Kafka: July 3, 1883- June 3, 1924E.B. White: July 11, 1899- October 1, 1985Henry David Thoreau: July 12, 1817- May 6, 1862Pablo Neruda: July 12, 1904- September 23, 1977Hunter S. Thompson: July 18, 1937- February 20, 2005Ernest Hemingway: July 21, 1889- July 2, 1961Alexandre Dumas: July 24, 1802- December 5, 1870Zelda Fitzgerald: July 24, 1900- March 10, 1948George Bernard Shaw: July 26, 1856- November 2, 1950Aldous Huxley: July 26, 1894- November 22, 1963
Beatrix Potter: July 28, 1866- December 12, 1943Stanley Kunitz: July 29, 1905- May 14, 2006Emily Bronte: July 30, 1818- December 18, 1848J.K. Rowling: July 31, 1965- current
17 comments:
I'm kinda feeling sorry for Justin. It's not HIS fault that he hasn't been a part of their lives...
You get the dynamics just right Chelle. Slightly patronising but well meaning vs defensive and touchy.well played.
You get the dynamics just right Chelle. Slightly patronising but well meaning vs defensive and touchy.well played.
I'm kinda with PT ... I feel a bit sorry for him. He means so well, but on the other hand, I can understand her hesitation as well.
I can sympathize with both of them--that's what I love about this story, Chelle. It has good balance.
Of course, the parent in me is yelling, "Take the money! College fund!"
Well Justin isn't handling this too well, right from the start, leading off with lawyer-talk! Enjoying the story, a tense but believable excerpt!
I can see how he means well, but she isn't taking it well at all!
Hm, Justin isn't handling things well, but she keeps jumping to conclusions without giving him a chance. I have a feeling her current assumption will turn out a little different than expected. Great snippet. The tension is really growing.
Tension growing every week but what did we expect? forgiveness and roses? An HEA would be nice. I'm eager to find out.
Thanks, Chelle. Nice dramatic passage. Even though it's short, I like and respect Layne!
Good luck!
I feel for both of them. This would be a dreadful situation to be in.
"I spoke to my lawyer..."
Much like the phrase, "We need to talk...", nothing good has ever followed!
You've got a knack for working with tough subject matter in a very real and very human way.
I like how she's sensitive about him marching in and trying to buy his way into the family.
When talking is sometimes worse than not... and yet they so very much need to talk. Poor Justin though. He's trying to be there as much as he can.
I can definitely relate to her hesitation, but it also sounds like he has come around and is trying to do the right thing now. Hoping that he is being genuine. Great work!!! Love it!!
He should seriously think about being her friend before trying to change her life.
Oh ouch, never bring money on the table when things are liable to get rocky and tense right quick. It sets red flags off to a girl like the guy thinks she's some third class citizen barely scrabbling by.
I agree with Linda, he needs to be her friend before trying to really change anything big. Ease into getting her to trust and like him.
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