Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
Justin tries to convince Layne that his only interest is giving money is to help provide for his son. Layne won't believe his motives are that pure....
(the following has been edited to fit) ...and now the
"It's
never that simple, there’s always a price.”
Justin
grabbed her arm and made her look at him, "but it is simple, Layne, why won't
you trust me, what's got you so scared?"
She
looked up at him and he saw fear in her golden eyes; he felt an overwhelming
need to protect her, he wondered if he could ever make her feel safe. Justin let
go of her arm and when she didn't move, he slowly moved his head down to touch
his lips to hers.
Layne's entire body stiffened and then melted into him.
He
wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close against him, "I don't
want to hurt you or Dennis, please trust me."
She
parted her lips and Justin traced the line of her teeth with his tongue; Layne
touched the tip of her tongue to his and both of them felt as if the room had
ignited.
Suddenly
Layne pushed away from him and ran from the room.
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.
~~~~~~~~
It seems that our intentions are sometimes so easily misunderstood. People kind of hear what they want to hear. I just had a discussion tonight with someone about how easily arguments start and feelings are hurt simply because the words are misconstrued. And later as the years go by multiple versions of what "really happened" are told and nobody even remembers what the misunderstanding was to begin with. I thought of this because of how Layne misunderstands Justin's intentions...
& also because of a very funny commercial I see now and then on TV
(Hope I made you chuckle!)
17 comments:
I love sudden kisses. I wonder has her so scared. Great snippet. :)
love the scene ... I hope she doesn't run away from completely.
I wonder why she ran. What is she afraid of? :-) That's good that you've got readers asking questions, Chelle.
Well, I didn't see the kiss coming. I'm curious now, what's got her so scared and why did she run so suddenly? Definitely intrigued. Good snippet.
Ooh, steamy. I can understand why she ran. I'm not sure, I'm wanting it to happen either, since I relate to her character, but he has shown nothing but good thus far. I'm excited to see how this works. Excellent snippet!!! ;)
Wow, what just happened!!! I can't believe he did this and that she did this! I never saw it coming!
It's too soon to trust him, but I hope she manages it before her ex shows up!
This keeps getting better and better, chelle. :)
Hot and then cold. You've got me intrigued and that's a good thing. So what happens next? Just whisper so no one else knows. Hmm. I forgot, My hearing aid batteries aren't working.
No, no, no, don't run away. I'm curious to why she's so scared. I'm betting he'll want to find out, too.
What is she scared of? Commitment? An attraction to him?
Great snippet with wonderful description.
Nice tension, Chelle! You could really up the stakes and immediacy if in the 3rd paragraph you showed the reader actively instead of telling them: She looked, he saw, he felt, he wondered. Wearing my passive voice badge today. Want to read more . . .
This is my first reading of this story. Very intriguing concept!
I have a feeling he's still moving wayyy to fast for Layne (but I'm sure enjoying it!). Great snippet!
Shucks, just when things were getting good.
She's conflicted. I bet she has a good reason--but that she won't want to tell him what it is!
Having a character who similarly runs away from romantic advances, I can imagine how much fun this scene was to write. The ideas are so plentiful out there... Great scene, Chelle.
Nice! The sensory imagery really makes this scene pop.
Post a Comment