Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
In the opening lines of this short story we're introduced to the hero, Seth, and heroine, Dini, just as they are introduced to each other.
(the following may have been creatively edited to fit) ...and now the
“Here,
let me help you with that,” Santa took the package from her hands and placed it
on the trailer with all of the other wrapped presents.
Dini
chuckled, “and here I thought the elves did all of the work getting Santa ready
to deliver the gifts.”
“Well
since I don’t have to deal with Rudolph or any of those temperamental reindeer
today I figure I can lend a hand.”
“Thank
you, Santa,” she smirked.
He
patted his flat stomach. “Maybe I should put a pillow in here or something?”
“They’re
pushing for healthier Santas nowadays. Besides, I think the kids will be
thrilled with any guy in a red jacket with a white beard who gives them a
present.”
“It’s
the first time I’ve ever played Santa, I don’t want to screw it up.” He
adjusted the ear loops that held his beard in place.
~~~~~
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Dini didn’t want to think about her past. And, Seth wasn’t thinking about anything but his past. Thrown together as Santa and his Number One Elf at the homeless shelter, Dini and Seth seem to be on opposite sides... of everything. Her past is catching up to her, and Seth may risk his future to protect her.
16 comments:
The guy's heart is obviously in the right place, but he does have a few things to learn about playing Santa!
Awe, I already love it! I love to see sheer goodness in the world and everything about the people who volunteer to do it! Great scene!!!! Can't wait to read it.
Lovely scene .... I like the characters already.
This sounds like it's going to be lovely.
A thin Santa? Things have gone PC. Enjoyed your snippet though. I can feel the attraction between them.
Nice beginning of a Christmas story with romance thrown in. Lots of charm and fun in the writing.
Cute snippet. (I vote for the pillow.)
Sounds like a fun Christmas story, Chelle. Great snippet. :)
I like this one already. Very cute.
Nice beginning! I do vote for him finding a pillow to stuff that tummy...can't wait for more, excellent excerpt!
A healthy Santa, huh? I'm not sure Santa is much of a health role model, either way. And the pillow might cushion him from flying elbows.
Cute snippet. You've done marvelous character building in just a few sentences, Chelle. Nicely done!
Nahh, I still think he needs the pillow stuffed under his shirt for the part. LOL. Sounds like a cute story, I like the banter about the reindeer.
A Santa who is in shape--interesting. Enjoyed the snippet.
A healthier santa? That's so weird, seeing that he has been around like forever.
Cute dialogue between characters. I love the whole healthy santa lol.
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