Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
Justin finally wakes up in the alley next to the building he just exited. Still woozy he stumbles back to Layne's apartment to find her gone. Her clothing and Dennis' things are gone, but the few items she was sentimental about are still there. The nosy neighbor tells him that Layne and Dennis left in the company of some men; Layne said something about going home.
(the following has been edited to fit) ...and now the
More than once, Justin had to
repeat his slurred words; the police officer he was speaking to was hanging up
his phone.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Ross, it
doesn't look like they're missing after all. Miss Gillette wrote a very clear
letter of resignation to her boss, he's faxing a copy here now, and she notified
the school that she was taking her son out." He turned his attention to
the fax machine nearby, "that should be the letter."
According to the words she had
written on the paper Layne was taking her son home after having a wonderful reconciliation
with her husband, then she thanked her boss and apologized that she hadn't
given him two weeks’
notice.
Justin didn't care what had
been written, "They beat me up to keep me out of the way so they could
kidnap them."
The police officer looked at
Justin, "Mr. Ross, it's obvious that you were mugged and if you'd like to
file a report..."
"I wasn't mugged."
"I think you should just
go home and forget about this woman."
Justin was dismissed; no one
would believe that Layne and Dennis were taken against their will.
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.
~~~~~~~~
and this is a theme that is built into the story of
Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
 |
SAFETY ALERT:
If you are in danger call 911.
Or reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224. |
15 comments:
How frustrating for Justin. And I have to wonder why Layne didn't put up more of a fight, especially if there was a neighbor who was close enough to hear she was going home.
Uh oh! Poor Justin. And this is bad. He's got to be worried sick. he doesn't believe that reconciliation stuff for even a bit!
Justin's on his own to rescue Layne. I'm sure you'll throw many roadblocks in his way.
I bet Justin is not used to being ignored like that. Fortunately, he won't give up!
I could have seen that coming. That husband looks like a powerful person. But I guess he won't be to hard to find at least.
Maybe I shouldn't have jumped as far ahead in the scene as I did so I will fill it in a bit - when the men who attacked Justin forced Layne to go with them, they used "the unconscious man in the alley downstairs" as leverage threatening to give him a lethal dosage of drugs if she didn't comply.
Just wonderful. Exciting, dramatic with all the elements of drama and secrecy. Well done.
What a frustrating place to be when everyone seems to have a "reasonable" explanation for the events. Great snippet, Chelle.
You know the author has done a good job when you're stressed out from reading just a snippet.
Wow, you've really amped up the tension and the stakes. Can't wait to see what Justin will do because for sure I know he's not going to give up. (I love the character, can you tell?) Excellent excerpt!
On the one hand: nooo, why don't they believe him? On the other hand: scary husband did a very good job of covering his tracks.
He'll have to rescue her himself.
So scary.
Justin's fear, helplessness and frustration rang through perfectly. Great snippet.
Oh no! No one believes him! That's heart wrenching. I can't wait to see how he will respond. Great snippet.
Yikes. You've really bring his frustration out here. It feels very genuine.
Oh if I was Justin I would be yelling and screaming about what he knew. Resignation letter and everything else, be damned. I can't imagine how scared Layne and Dennis might be, and poor Justin is so frustrated. I hope he finds them.
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