Saturday, December 12, 2015

The First Meeting ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 12/13/15

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the
WeWriWa blog

& check out the
Facebook Snippet Sunday group


I'm sharing snippets from Stormy Weather, one of the short stories in The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero collection. 

Last week we met Debbie trying to relax on a beach. In the distance there's a storm rolling in.

Here are ten more lines... 


Groaning, she finally stood and brushed some of the sand from her arms. Debbie walked to the water’s edge and was amazed to realize how much closer it was to the towel she was lying on than when she first picked out a spot. At least she would get her feet wet before she packed up her belongings and trudged back to the hotel.
She was standing in ankle deep water when a wave crashed into her at chest height. She was knocked off balance and wound up sitting in the wet sand as the water threatened to pull her in. The salty water passed her lips and she sputtered and tried to catch her breath.
“You okay?” A bronze god squatted beside her; his hand rested on her back to support her in case she actually collapsed.
Coughing, “Yeah, I’m fine, the wave just surprised me.”

He stood and stretched a hand out, “Obviously a tourist.”
~~~~~
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 

www.wewriwa.com



The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero is a single author collection of short stories featuring Introduction, Pussycat Tails, Holiday Happiness, Not Alone, I Swear That Raccoon Just Knocked on the Door, Stormy Weather, A Mother’s Love, More Than a Friend, The Meeting, The Vacation and a special bonus section.

Stormy Weather
The ominous skies and howling winds of a hurricane lead to an unexpected and warmhearted friendship.


BUY LINKS
~~~~~


I was visiting my grandmother who lived in South Miami Beach in mid August 1969. A new friend and I (also from the NY area and visiting her grandmother as well) were hanging out on the beach totally mesmerized with a distant storm over the ocean. There was a hurricane warning and it surprised us both that no one seemed panicked; because the inhabitants were so used to storms rolling in from the ocean and calmly going about their lives, Carol and I were lulled into a comfortable sense of security — besides we were teenagers and everyone knows teens are indestructible.

Our grandmas told us we could hang out on the beach but NOT to go in the water. We could see shark fins in the water! (They come closer to land in a storm) Long story short Carol had a crush on one of the lifeguards and decided to venture into the water (just knee height) to get his attention... a huge wave pummeled into her and knocked her down dragging her further away from the sand. I was standing (honestly NOT in the water) nearby, arguing and worried our grandmas would find out. I did run into the water and managed to grab onto her so she could regain her balance. I pulled her to the shore and we both collapsed onto the sand. Moments later the lifeguard was there yelling at us for being foolish teenagers.

Embarrassed and soaking wet we finally headed back to the hotel our grandmothers lived in. A few windows were shuttered JUST IN CASE and signs were posted about the card games and music scheduled for the lobby that evening in case the storm came ashore. My grandma explained this was the normal way to ride out the many storms.

Hurricane Camille never did come on shore in Miami but it moved into the Gulf and caused a tremendous amount of devastation in Alabama, Louisiana and Mississippi. Aside from high winds, some scattered rains, crashing waves and shark fins near the beaches, Miami wasn't touched. but for two teenage girls from NY it was an adventure! (As an adult I've learned how serious hurricanes can be.)

I was remembering vividly the sights from that Miami Beach that day when I wrote this short story so I was thrilled to read comments that people could "feel" and "see" the beach that Debbie was visiting.


19 comments:

Kim Magennis said...

You got this just right Chelle. You told us she was inexperienced with the sea, and was about to get into deep water (figuratively too!) all at once. I wager she gets into more trouble before she leaves...

Carrie-Anne said...

Though I don't live in a beach or lakefront town, I'd assume someone were a tourist too if just one little wave knocked her clear off her feet. Seems to me Debbie doesn't have much experience in the water.

Linda said...

Wow, that's some wave. I guess I would have been surprised too.

PT said...

“Obviously a tourist.”

Somehow, that doesn't sound like an auspicious start to a relationship... Or even a fling.

Charmaine Gordon said...

Love it, love the beach and the way you tell the story. Thanks, Chelle.

Jenna said...

I've been wiped out by waves at Nags Head, so I do feel her pain. But the bronze "god" was rather rude! A bit more sympathy would have been nice. :) Great snippet!

Siobhan Muir said...

I agree with PT. He couldn't sound more dismissive if he tried. Good snippet, Chelle. :)

Stephanie Ingram said...

I wonder if he meant the comment playfully. Maybe the bronze God will redeem himself? Ah, the beach.... sigh. Great snippet!

Veronica Scott said...

The excerpt was excellent and reading your real life 'back story' was fascinating. Always cool to know some of the inspiration for a scene or story!

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Bronze god, but his manners have knocked him off the pedestal. lol Great imagery with the wave and sputtering... :)

Elaine Cantrell said...

I can picture the scene. Nice writing.

Caitlin Stern said...

Waves do have a way of surprising you, if you don't know their tricky ways. I've never been gotten quite that well, but I have been surprised, too.

Ed Hoornaert said...

You've told us so much about this character and the setting ... without 'telling' us anything. Very enjoyable.

The Belle in Blue said...

I like a little antagonism between main characters. Makes for lots of sparks! :-) Nice snippet.

~Joyce Scarbrough

theconsolationprize said...

Ha! I love that last line!

Amalie Cantor said...

I love that last line. Such a tourist. :-P Thanks so much for sharing!

Iris Blobel said...

Oh wow, what a reply! ... and yeah, happened to me as well once or twice, yet no bronze god anywhere near me :-)

JTsuruoka said...

A bronze god... what a great descriptor. Coupled with the storm brewing in over the ocean, the scene takes on a mythic quality. Nice.

Teresa Cypher said...

Well, "Obviously". Pfft. lol. I might kick sand at him. Good job describing the action, Chelle. :-)