Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
I am sharing snippets from a new short story I wrote, Always One More Time. This story has just been released in a terrific anthology called HeartWorks ~ Eight Great Stories of Love, Passion, and Romance from Vanilla Heart Publishing Authors Charmaine Gordon, Paul Zunckel, Chelle Cordero, Neva Squires-Rodriguez, Lauren Shiro, Tamara Philip, Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard, and Angela Kay Austin.
Last week Callie was very apprehensive as she climbed the steps to knock on a door - today we see who answers the door...
Creative editing alert! Here are ten lines...
Last week Callie was very apprehensive as she climbed the steps to knock on a door - today we see who answers the door...
Creative editing alert! Here are ten lines...
The lock tumbled just before the door
swung open.
“Can I help you?”
The man standing there was tall, much
taller than she imagined, taller than Jimmy. She could tell that this man was
related, they had the same build, but his shoulders were broader; he was darker
and his gaze was piercing.
He repeated, “Can I help you?”
“I… I was looking for Mrs. Bernerd.”
“My mom?”
“Uh, yeah,” she realized that his
wife, assuming he was married, would be too young to be the woman she was
asking for, “is she home?”
He glanced back into the house and
then turned back to her, “can I ask your name and what you want to see her
about?”
She swallowed, “I’m Callie Sanders
and I, I was… I was a friend of Jimmy’s.”
~~~~~
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“Have enough courage to trust love
one more time.
And always, one more time.”
~ Maya Angelo
Buy Links
one more time.
And always, one more time.”
~ Maya Angelo
Buy Links
~~~~~
Omigosh, can you believe it's February (almost) already? Weren't we just cleaning up after New Year's Eve? LOL.
Lots of things happen in February — everyone knows about Groundhog's Day, Valentine's Day, President's Day and Washington's Birthday... here's a few more significant days:
February 3 has been dubbed "The Day the Music Died", Buddy Holly, Richie Valens and the Big Bopper died in a plane crash in 1959... just in case you haven't heard someone wrote a song about it; February 7 is Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day, I'm curious... which finger(s) did you wave before?;
February 14 is Valentine's Day, but it is also National Organ Donor Day... my family is searching for a kidney donor for my brother-in-law Del, a living donor would be best, you can read about it here http://bit.ly/1YRDp9H; now this one is just sad and cruel, February 15 is Singles Awareness Day as if watching all those happy twosomes wasn't obvious enough; but February 16 is Do a Grouch a Favor Day so at least you can try to cheer up everyone who was made aware the day before;
February 20 is Love Your Pet Day and I have three felines who are planning to celebrate, in honor of the day here's a You Tube video my daughter filmed of her cat Butters, she called it In The Jungle (Hey Ed, Effing Feline might enjoy this day too); then we pretty much give a bunch more days to our animal friends including Walking the Dog Day (22nd) and Polar Bear Day (27th);
February 27 is National No Brainer Day, woo-hoo, I could get behind that one!; And finally, it happens only once every four years, February 29! It's Leap Year folks... actually it happens ALMOST every four years, it does not occur in years ending '00' unless it can be divided by 400.
So, hope you have a Fabulous, Fantastic February
and have enjoyed this bit of dated trivia
21 comments:
Hmm. You've got me wondering who Jimmy was and what's going on now.
It seems like a difficult moment and on top of it he doesn't seem too friendly.
Interesting beginning. The dialog works really well to establishing the awkward mood your heroine is in - great snippet!
There's something about Callie I'm not sure about and don't trust. Great snippet
A friend? Hmmm!
Excellent energy here Chelle. You get all those emotions down just right!
A friend? Hmmm!
Excellent energy here Chelle. You get all those emotions down just right!
What an interesting snippet and oh the wonders of february. You left out my birthday-Feb 13. I'm eager to read the anthology. Hope you are well. As for me. . .not too well sorry to say.
Why do I get the impression she isn't quite a "friend". A lot of anticipation in this snippet. Look forward to reading more.
The "was" has me a little worried here. Is Jimmy gone, or just the friendship? Great snippet!
Who the heck is Jimmy? Great snippet! Can't wait to find out!
Oh, given the "was" usage, I'd say this won't be a fun visit. Great snippet, Chelle.
Things feel tense, and I get the feeling that things are going to get worse. Great snippet. :)
Wow, he's not the friendliest guy. Intriguing snippet, Chelle. It left me asking questions. :-)
Something bad must have happened to Jimmy?
I can't decide if this is unfriendly or cautious--his response would probably tip the scales. Hopefully he's nice, she seems scared.
Now that's a set up that makes you want to know more.
You really picked a great snippet to spike our curiosity about so many things. Great job!
~Joyce Scarbrough
Her nervousness makes me wonder if there was some trouble/distance between Jimmy and the rest of his family.
"Was a friend of Jimmy's"? Well, what happened to Jimmy!? Her nervous makes me think some kind of bad fallout between her and Jimmy. But the use of the word 'was' almost makes me think Jimmy is dead. So which is? I'm curious now! Great snippet.
Interesting start and I like the interacting between these two.
Always pulling me in.
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