Saturday, July 23, 2016

Scott is angry... again ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 07/24/16

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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A long, long time ago I shared a few snippets from my Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Karma Visited (only 5) - and we didn't get a full taste of this story. Since I am working on a sequel and revisiting the story for myself, I'm sharing more with you and soaking up your comments.

Do you believe in karma? Annie Furman has a gift that allows her, while she sleeps, to visit people in their time of need - but who will be there for her when she needs help? Undersheriff Dave Turner is investigating a series of home invasions and homicides. He has no idea that solving this case will lead him to the woman of his dreams.

Annie tries to talk to Scott about the things Sherry had to say while she brings dinner to the table. (reminder, Dianne is Scott's mother).

Creative editing alert!  Here are Nine lines... 

“I don’t want that woman in this house again,” Scott was still furious.
“She just showed up…”
“I don’t care, you don’t let her in,” Scott was angry, “I don’t want you even talking to her, if you see her in town you cross the street.”
“How can you tell me not to even speak to someone?”
Scott reached across the table and grabbed her arm, “because you are going to do what I tell you to do, that’s the understanding we have, you know damn well what will happen if you get out of line.”
Annie bit the inside of her lip to keep from responding.
“Eat,” he waited until she picked up her own fork and put food in her mouth.
Annie forced herself to eat her meal, she felt like she was going to choke with each forkful.
When they were finished eating, Scott and Dianne left the room without a word to her.


 ~~~~~
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 


My life changed after I died.
It’s not like I had any special powers.
They just didn’t understand me.
They underestimated me.
I had a gift.

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7 comments:

Teresa Cypher said...

He is such a foul human being. And his mom is no better! Poor Annie.

Anonymous said...

As I think I've said before: this is one great human being. I wonder what his mother thinks of the way he treats his wife? She doesn't seem to care.

Elyzabeth M. VaLey said...

Clearly, the mother is just as bad as the son. It's so sad to think that this sort of thing happens in real life as well. I hope Annie can get out of there soon.

Unknown said...

What a jerk! And it seems his mom doesn't object. I guess she raised him to be what he is.

Charmaine Gordon said...

To my favorite author: You sure know how to paint a real picture. Annie is in big trouble and it's so real.

Veronica Scott said...

I forget why she puts up with this treatment...but you definitely paint the scene so effectively! Great excerpt...

Amy Braun said...

Yikes. Is there anyone who'll take her side (other than me)? Interested to read more!