FACTS AND MORE FACTS

As a journalist I depend on others to fill in facts and figures; fiction is so much easier, it just has to SOUND right! (just kidding)

 

That's why I will often send queries to actual, formal Press Offices, because I want to know that what I am writing is accurate. I don't know why but especially in the more recent years I find that Press Offices don't always bother to return a response. I would even appreciate a "Sorry, we can't release that information…" or "We don't have the answers you are looking for…". It's frustrating to wait on an article simply because the experts you went to have decided to remain quiet.

 

Yeah, I am complaining. With all of the misinformation that gets spread around lately, I really would like to know that what I am typing at least borders on the truth. I never quote a particular source unless I receive permission to do so — so there shouldn't be a reason to be afraid to answer. I just want to be sure that if I am, let's say, giving a step-by-step of auto repair, that I am actually getting it right. (I would hate to refer to "the thig-a-ma-jig" just to find out that the car doesn't even have one!)

 

We all, myself included, have complained about journalists who can't seem to get their facts straight. Well maybe this is part of the problem, the folks we turn to for information are not at all forthcoming. Now I won't tell exactly which sources haven't bothered to respond, but I will say that at least some of them actually have the words "PRESS OFFICE" in their titles. It would seem to me that if a reporter needs information, a Press Office should be a good place to start.

 

Okay, enough complaining… I have to start writing an article on very little confirmed information. I will do my best to research other sources and will strategically use terms such as "it appears to be" or "a few sources intimated that it was". I will do my best to inform as honestly as possible.

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I HATE Computers!!!!

Now I know as a writer that might sound phony, but as much as I rely on computers and virtual technology in my field, this artificial intelligence wanna-be that I call my laptop really does seem to have a mind of its own. And I am convinced that it wants to kill me! (…or at least frustrate the heck out of me)

 

Like many of us, I get assaulted by “necessary upgrades” and even if I try to ignore these in my busiest moments, I do try to do the “responsible” thing and take care of THE MACHINE. Invariably each time there is another upgrade, SOMETHING changes on my machine, most times it’s just my desktop appearance.

 

But NOOOO, not this last time. I got the usual box popping up on my screen from MicroSoft with the normal gobbledygook about upgrades — the first time that happened (with this laptop) I was advised to let it upgrade and I have each time since. Usually my desktop appearance changes, my fonts change to smaller sizes, or other rather minor annoyances.

 

Oy! But this time, this time it not only changed the appearance, it WIPED MY FILES off of the hard drive! Yes, wiped, as in scrubbed. I am lucky, I guess, in that I disconnected my external drive before allowing the upgrade, I didn’t see the need for that to remain connected as the computer played around going on and off. And while it will be time-consuming, I can gather most of the files I lost from Documents and Downloads. It also removed some programs, but the only one I can remember for sure is ZOOM.

 

I bothered my son with desperate text messages yesterday when I discovered the emptiness. Of course the first thing he said was, “Mom, upgrades don’t erase files.” And trying to hold back tears I uttered back, “But something did!” He is my computer guru, but he is miles away and so it will take time before he can actually take a look at my machine. Something is definitely wrong in PC land.

 

In the meanwhile I can’t avoid using the dratted thing, my editors depend on me and just about everything these days is via the internet. So I am writing and sending my work – 

BUT I AM NOT TALKING TO MY COMPUTER!

 

Overwhelmed

Sometimes it just seems like there is never enough time to get everything done… actually that’s most days for me, LOL. I make my plans in the morning and, well, maybe I’ll get some of it done.

It’s rare for most of us to actually accomplish everything we tell ourselves to do. Too many of us actually, metaphorically, bite off much more than we can handle. Or maybe we don’t know how to organize as well as we should? Then again some of us just don’t know when to say “No”.

“If you want something done, ask a busy person.”
~ Benjamin Franklin… or was it Lucille Ball?

Part of the problem with not finishing all of your planned tasks during the day is the resulting frustration and sometimes the feeling of failure. It’s NOT failure if you did manage to accomplish THINGS and you merely optimistically AND unreasonably overscheduled yourself. But then again the next day the cycle repeats itself and the frustration grows. It doesn’t even pay to be a procrastinator, you never manage to get around to it.

And then there is such a thing as life — and somehow life doesn’t seem to stick to a schedule. Something always comes out of the blue to throw all of your carefully planned agenda totally off-track, I mean not even in the realm of completion. Parents may have their offspring’s school suddenly demand an audience. Commuters can’t magically control traffic jams and mass-transit schedules. Sudden family calamities pop up and your immediate response is highly recommended. Office employees may experience their boss’s sudden change of direction. Even home-based workers have to deal with power outages, annoying marketing calls (when you are busy and on the receiving end, it’s annoying!) And then there are always your own personal health issues.

Read up all you want on time-management skills, some of them certainly sound like they would, or should, work, but they are kind of generic.

•  Make a plan, a list of what needs to be done.
•   Be realistic as to how long each step should take
•   Be honest, what are YOUR biggest timewasters?
•   Allow for needed breaks
•   Assume a reasonable allotment of time to “work”– NOT all 24 hours.
•   Prioritize
•   Try to establish a routine
•   But if you get “blocked”, move on to the next task.
•   Organize what you need to work with.
•   Delegate tasks where you reasonably can.
•   And finally, prepare to SCRAP the whole plan and write a new one!

Actually that last step is very important. Once you are conscious of your work/responsibilities/want-to-dos and can assess how long something actually takes, re-work your schedule. You’ll probably have to re-work it every week for a few weeks before you even come close to something that works. And if LIFE (that can be one of those four-letter words) changes, be prepared to change with it. You’ve heard the phrase “Man makes plans and G-d laughs”, be prepared and versatile enough to adjust.

But don’t ever let yourself feel like a failure. 

If it was easy to get everything done for everyone,
there wouldn’t be so many time-management courses
or books being sold.

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When Do You Stop Being a Parent? ~ #MondayBlogs

When? For most of us the automatic response is NEVER!

But as our offspring grow from toddlers to teens and finally branch out on their own as adults, our roles do change drastically. So often it seems as if our children challenge everything from the moment they can say their first words so we should be used to it when they become rebellious teens. By the time they are young adults you are pretty much considered the cute but doddering old person who is now ready to switch out on who changes whose diaper.

Let’s begin with WHAT is a parent (mom or dad) — parents should do their best to ensure the health and safety of the child; parents teach by example; a parent sets rules, explains them with more than just “because”, and doles out appropriate consequences if they are not followed; parents help the child learn problem solving and decision making; parents help teach responsibility, assign chores and allow their child to deal with penalties when they shirk responsibilities; parents encourage goal setting; and a parent teaches that respect is a two-way street. Most of all parents need to provide unconditional love and constant emotional support without making a big deal of it.

The end-game is to teach our young to grow to become independent adults who can make their own decisions, take care of themselves, and pursue their own visions. Ideally, even while our child’s growth makes us (feel) obsolete and useless, we should continue living our own lives without guilt, without worry, and hopefully without having to “bail” our kids out of jams. IMPOSSIBLE.

We never stop worrying and wanting to be part of our children’s lives, and we should be content to live vicariously without stealing any of their glory. Sometimes it takes some of the burden off of our shoulders when we know they have someone to go through life with, to take care of AND be taken care of. And while we are not responsible for the mistakes they may make, it is inconceivable for us to stay silent and try, TRY, to guide them… besides they don’t want to listen anyway.

We never stop loving our children or feeling a “knife” twist in our hearts when we know they are hurting. Even when our offers of advice and help get turned down FLAT, we still push at least a little even when we have to suffer their wrath. If we have faith, we pray non-stop others, burn candles and fashion amulets, and still others may resort to bribes. A parent would do anything to make sure his or her child is happy, safe and accepted.

In addition to accepting the fact that we seem to be constant embarrassments to our offspring, we need to always be there just in case they do decide they want us. We live for the moments when they do seek our opinions.

A parent’s job is NEVER done.

A Busy Life ~ #MondayBlogs

So many schedules to keep up with, everyday pressures from work and family, bills, cleaning, traffic jams, getting the kids’ to school on time, expectations from your boss… No wonder we feel so overwhelmed so much of the time.

No matter what your lot in life is, your job, your home life and all of the things others depend on you to do, it is so easy to believe you’ll never catch up. Magazine articles and caring relatives will offer you advice – prioritize, concentrate on one corner at a time, turn off the TV, turn off your computer, put yourself on a schedule. It’s all sound advice and yet you still feel like you are drowning.

Prioritize, it sounds so easy, after all, what is it that you have to get done? It’s depressing when you run out of room on the paper to write your list; there are only 24-hours in a day and you really need to allow for a few hours to sleep, eat and even just go to the bathroom! You feel like you will never get it all done.

Actually lists are good, it just is what you are listing that could be the problem. Make a list of your goals, your dreams and your wishes. Star the big ones, the ones that you really, really, really want or need. Now list the steps you need to take to reach a particular wish or goal and that becomes the start of your new to-do list. And if some of the things that used to be on your daily agenda have no purpose towards your goals – does it really need to be done?

Don’t go through the rigors of life “for others” – live and work for YOU. While your goal may take a while to achieve you will feel accomplished with every little bit you gain towards realizing your dreams. Knowing that you are getting closer to the things you want will give you the impetus to climb out of bed in the morning and dive right in.

Re-evaluate your to-do list now and stop putting pressure on yourself for all of the things you were doing to appease an employer, look good in your neighbor’s eyes, pay off loans for the things you didn’t really want…

Today is for YOU, you deserve it.