Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
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Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.
Caitlyn is rushed to the hospital, she's hemorrhaging after falling at the courthouse. Tom is waiting for Cat's husband, Brandon, to arrive.
Caitlyn is rushed to the hospital, she's hemorrhaging after falling at the courthouse. Tom is waiting for Cat's husband, Brandon, to arrive.
Tom was pacing the hospital corridor as Alli came running up
to him.
“He’s getting on a plane right now,” Tom gave Caitlyn’s cell
phone to Alli at the courthouse and asked her to contact Brandon to let him
know what had happened. He went in the ambulance with Cat to the hospital, Alli
followed over in his car afterwards.
“They’re prepping her for surgery, the doctors said she’s
hemorrhaging, they have to try to deliver the baby or... we’ll lose them both.”
Tom feared that by repeating what the doctors said, he would make it come true,
“they’re going to do a C-section, so far the baby’s vitals are okay. Cat is...
weak, she’s lost a lot of blood already.” He drew a painful breath in, “they’re
pretty sure they’ll be able to save the baby.”
Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.
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14 comments:
Shivers with the thought of danger for the mother and baby. What a terrible turn of events and so well written, Chelle. Thanks.
Will they be able to save Cat, too? I guess I'll need to tune in next week.
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Oh, what did the doctor say...we can save the baby but we're not sure about the mom?
I hope they can save Cat too. This is a very realistic snippet. A lot going on in 8 sentences.
NO!!! This is just sadness all around. Tom is dealing with so much and if something happens to Cat or the baby or both, he's never going to forgive himself. Oh and Brandon, when he learns his wife was put in this danger because of the fight I hope he doesn't take it out on Tom, who is already shouldering all the blame.
Oh, so sad! And a dramatic turn of events. Quite a story you're spinning for us...great snippet!
Oh I could feel the intensity in this snippet! I'm interested to find out what happens and if this poor baby has to live life without a mother. How sad! Great snippet, it really pulled me in!
That last line is so ominous by what is left unsaid...
A lot of subtext in a deeply emotional scene. Well done.
Oh, I hope Cat makes it.
Oh man...she has to live. Tom is going through so much already! This scene moves at a good pace, and that really antes up the tension. Nicely done, Chelle! :-)
Oh, no! Pretty sure they can save the baby sounds like mama isn't going to make it--and baby might not, either. That poor man... this might be the last straw!
Oh, I do hope they'll be able to save Cat, too.
Oh, no! Such a tense scene.
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