Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
Justin tells Layne that he's developed feelings for her and assures her that he will do whatever he can to protect her and Dennis. He reminds her that he has money and power to stand up against Charlie; this worries Layne because those are the very things Charlie held over her. Justin promises to take care of them both.
(the following has been edited to fit) ...and now the
"Justin,
I care for you, I really do, and what you're saying to me sounds really wonderful,
but I don't want you making promises."
"I
won't let you down, Layne, and I won't let Dennis down, I do promise, trust
me."
He
kissed her again, he gave her a gentle push until she was lying down, his
weight partly covering her, his tongue exploring her mouth.
"Justin...
what are you doing to my mommy?"
Dennis
was kneeling on all fours watching them.
"Uh,
I was giving your mom a kiss."
Dennis
looked at his mother and then at Justin, "Are you my mommy's
boyfriend?"
Layne
looked surprised at his question.
Justin
merely smiled, "I hope so."
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.
~~~~~~~~
20 comments:
Considering the compromising position he has her in, I'd say he's definitely about to become her boyfriend. ;-)
Children are a good way to create tension, add the unexpected, and break a situation down. Nicely done.
Children are a good way to create tension, add the unexpected, and break a situation down. Nicely done.
Enter the kid. I do love this scene.And what happens next ,Mommy?
OOps! Busted by the kiddo. Well, what is she gonna say now?
Aw, what a sweet scene! Time to get a babysitter!
Lol, talk about putting a dampener on things. Sweet scene and I agree with Gemma, time to get a babysitter;). Great snippet.
Too cute on both ends. Great snippet. :)
Good answer to the little boy, enjoying the story, can't wait for more!
So sweet. Leave it to the child to voice what he sees and wants.
Justin hopes so, but I wonder what Layne's answer to the question would be.
She's going to have to learn to trust him, but I bet it will take some proving on his part.
*Sigh* I love this scene. I bet it takes her time to trust.
Uh oh. Not a good time for an interruption.
Hahaha, good timing! I love that innocent question and sneaky answer.
I guess that anyone who has heard the words "Whatcha' doing?" in your child's voice at that MOST inopportune moment would chuckle at this, LOL. Thanks all for your comments.
I like his reply. This could've gone wrong in so many ways :-) well done.
A very sweet snippet! Nice.
Perfect response from him. Kids are so innocent, and blunt, they can get away with asking and saying anything. They make interesting characters.
This is a very sweet scene-- it's easy to get into the heads of all of the characters involved. A well-captured slice of life!
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