Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
We're jumping ahead a bit. Layne told Justin about the forced insemination by a man she married for protection after being in the foster system. She has been living under an assumed name so he won't find her and never filed for divorce in order to keep hiding. Justin and she have grown closer (yes, intimate) and spending time together with their son (who does not know Justin is his father). The following scene is during a shopping trip Justin is treating them to. Justin just asked Layne if there is something she wants, anything she's dreamt of having...
(the following has been edited to fit) ...and now the
Layne shrugged, "people
like me don't have dreams, Justin."
"Come on, everybody has dreams."
"Maybe,
when I was a little girl," she laughed, "I wanted to invent a robot
to collect the eggs on the farm so I could stay in bed later." Her voice
faded, "after my grandma died, I just dreamt that I would wake up on the
farm again."
Justin knew how difficult things had been; she told
him about being bounced around between foster homes and how she met Charlie.
"And now, Layne, do you have dreams
now?"
Her eyes welled with tears, "actually yes,
I dream that I will always be able to protect my son. I dream that I'll always
be here for him and that he'll never be so desperate for a hero that... he'll
do something totally stupid. I dream that I can do something to shield him from
people who will just use him."
Justin put his arm around her shoulder and
leaned down close to her ear, "Layne, I'll do whatever I can to help
you."
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.
~~~~~~~~
Today is our daughter's birthday.
She's a grown woman, married, highly skilled and
working in a job where she literally saves people lives.
working in a job where she literally saves people lives.
Her "baby brother" is also an adult, married and
working in an equally responsible position.
working in an equally responsible position.
I can relate to Layne's need to want
to always protect your child,
to always want only the best for her or him.
to always protect your child,
to always want only the best for her or him.
That's a feeling that is a part of parenting
every minute of every day.
every minute of every day.
Happy Birthday to our darling Jenni,
you've brought magic to our lives.
you've brought magic to our lives.
20 comments:
Beautifully dream ... let's hope it'll come true!
I like how he is such a good guy. I hope soon they'll be able to make dreams together.
Nice! She seems absolutely broken and he's just the man to fix it. On a side note, Growing up I always wanted a "Rosie" like from the Jetsons, so I can relate to her robot idea.
Poor Layne!
Life has chewed her up and spat her out!
I can see our hero has his work cut out for him.
The good man is about to be challenged. Heartwarming story. I'm overwhelmed by both of the main characters.
Happy B'day to Jenni and many more, with love.
You're just outright yanking on my heartstrings, now, Chelle. :)
I certainly hope his family doesn't want to use that child!
Wow, another emotional and a little heart-breaking scene. Great job!
What wonderful insight into her mind -- and the mind of many single parents. Beautiful job, albeit a bit heartbreaking.
Oh I do hope her dream will come true and he helps her to obtain it. Lovely snippet with hope for the future.
She has very good, motherly dreams all right! Quite a heart tugging snippet and I'm so glad she has Justin to help her!
Sounds like those conscious desires we think about while awake.
We call them "dreams."
It isn't the dreams we experience while we're asleep.
I often like the conscious ones better.
Your snippet sparked a sweet personal reverie, thanks!
Nice 8!
She's such a great mother. I hope he does everything he promises. :)
Awwwww! (I hope he buys her a farm. I'm weird. I know.)
Such a gentle, powerful scene. Really like these two! Suggestion: Watch your dialogue to make sure you capitalize the sentences within the quotes. Taking off my editor hat now . . .
One of your best snippets yet, Chelle. Layne's final words say so much about her life, her mindset, and what she needs to learn in the course of the book.
What heartbreakingly simple dreams... Makes you hope he can help her achieve them!
I'm really liking him and hoping he'll take care of her jerk husband for her.
I love these lines: "Maybe, when I was a little girl," she laughed, "I wanted to invent a robot to collect the eggs on the farm so I could stay in bed later." Her voice faded, "after my grandma died, I just dreamt that I would wake up on the farm again." Beautiful. Poignant. Wonderful snippet, Chelle. :-)
Ooooh, the heartstrings have been tugged. So much emotion packed into those sentences of her dream. Beautifully done, Chelle.
No dreams? That's just... sad. Very sad, and very powerful as an image. It really sets up the rest of the snippet well too.
Post a Comment