Saturday, April 16, 2016

A Little Reconnaissance ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 04/17/16



Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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A long, long time ago I shared a few snippets from my Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Karma Visited (only 5) - and we didn't get a full taste of this story. Since I am working on a sequel and revisiting the story for myself, I'm sharing more with you and soaking up your comments.

Do you believe in karma? Annie Furman has a gift that allows her, while she sleeps, to visit people in their time of need - but who will be there for her when she needs help? Undersheriff Dave Turner is investigating a series of home invasions and homicides. He has no idea that solving this case will lead him to the woman of his dreams.

Annie is going though the motions of being a "dutiful wife" even though it doesn't earn her any "Brownie points" from her bullying husband and overbearing mother-in-law. I skipped ahead several pages — in this scene Scott has brought home an unexpected dinner guest and expected Annie to be a good hostess. After dinner Scott takes his friend (Bill) into his office for a private conversation. Annie's mother-in-law is distracted by a phone call from a friend. Annie is in the kitchen making coffee...

Creative editing alert!  Here are ten lines... 


She needed something to use against Scott as insurance, she had to know what they were talking about. Annie scraped the scraps into the trash, took the filled plastic bag from the wastebasket and opened the kitchen door quietly.
She was quiet as she dumped the bag into the outside garbage can and then continued walking towards Scott’s office window. She was thrilled to see that it was open a crack. 
“…now we can go ahead with the project,” Scott was talking, “with the money the pipeline is going to bring us, we’ll cash in.”
“I’m going to make sure nobody else stands in our way. This may be a small town now, but it's going to be big once that mall opens and we’re going to own a big piece of it.”
Annie heard the clink of glasses.
“We’re on our way brother.” 
   ~~~~~
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My life changed after I died.
It’s not like I had any special powers.
They just didn’t understand me.
They underestimated me.
I had a gift.

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~~~~~

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7 comments:

Peter Vialls said...

The more I see of Scott, the less I like the look of him. Ruthless, only interested in money, and damn anyone who interferes. What on Earth did Annie ever see in him?

T. M. Hunter said...

Nothing worse than scoundrels trying to ruin small town charm with their own greed. Fun snippet.

Christina Ochs said...

These guys sound awful, and I have a feeling it will be up to Annie to stop them. Hope she can get some help!

Elizabeth Alsobrooks said...

These guys are no good, and she needs to be careful! Great snippet!

Caitlin Stern said...

So sad she needs to know his secrets to feel safe. I wonder what she'll do with this information, though.

Ed Hoornaert said...

So what is she going to do with the information she learned? And how is her gift going to coming into play? Inquiring minds want to know.

Heather Boyd said...

People making plans. I'm hoping its for good rather than evil. Thanks for sharing.