Saturday, April 2, 2016

Time to catch her breath ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 04/03/16

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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A long, long time ago I shared a few snippets from my Paranormal Romantic Suspense, Karma Visited (only 5) - and we didn't get a full taste of this story. Since I am working on a sequel and revisiting the story for myself, I'm sharing more with you and soaking up your comments.

Do you believe in karma? Annie Furman has a gift that allows her, while she sleeps, to visit people in their time of need - but who will be there for her when she needs help? Undersheriff Dave Turner is investigating a series of home invasions and homicides. He has no idea that solving this case will lead him to the woman of his dreams.

Annie just woke up from her "nightmare". (Scott, mentioned here, is the man she is married to.)

Creative editing alert!  Here are ten lines... 


Scott muttered a curse word into his pillow, her gasp disturbed his slumber; Annie slid quietly from the bed and padded barefoot down the hall to the guest bathroom.
She locked the door behind her and sat on the closed toilet seat fearful of waking the other occupants of the house. She thought about her nightmare, only it wasn’t just a nightmare, not hers anyway; somewhere some young girl had just died in a burning apartment and there was nothing Annie could do to save her.
Annie had these types of dreams ever since she was a little girl, ever since the night she was napping in the back seat of the family car, her parents’ lively laughter and conversation soothed and comforted her; suddenly her mother screamed, her father yelled, and Annie was tossed in the back seat, she remembered sobbing and screams and pain, and then nothing.
She woke up in a hospital bed and heard nurses talking how she was pulled from the wreckage just before the car exploded; she had burns and damaged lungs, and a head injury.
Many weeks later Annie went home, not to the childhood home filled with happy memories of her parents, but to an elderly great-aunt and uncle. One day she overheard her aunt whispering to a neighbor that Annie had died on the operating table and the doctors managed to bring her back. She couldn’t understand why she had been able to come back from the dead but her mommy and daddy couldn’t.
When her nightmares started no one understood why she would wake up screaming, hospital counselors told her aunt and uncle that she was just reacting to the loss. Soon everyone was convinced that her nightmares were all spawned by the trauma of her parents’ fiery car crash and they not so patiently dismissed her concerns for the strangers she claimed were in danger.


   ~~~~~
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My life changed after I died.
It’s not like I had any special powers.
They just didn’t understand me.
They underestimated me.
I had a gift.

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~~~~~


There was an interesting article this week The real life nightmare of sleep paralysis and it made me think of the "most rational explanation" about what Annie experiences as she travels in her dreams. I feel the article is too dismissive. In the article scientists explain Sleep Paralysis Nightmares as imagined, but... In my novel Karma Visited, Annie "travels" in her sleep during dreams in what is actually Astral Projection (out of body experiences), Studies on Out of Body experiences also describe sleep paralysis when the "body" wakes while the Astral self is out of it.
What do YOU think?

21 comments:

Teresa Cypher said...

"She couldn’t understand why she had been able to come back from the dead but her mommy and daddy couldn’t."

Perfectly reasonable question to form in a child's mind. Poor kid...

Kim Magennis said...

Poor Annie!

Really enjoyed the back story Chelle. Nicely done.

Kim Magennis said...

Poor Annie!

Really enjoyed the back story Chelle. Nicely done.

Ed Hoornaert said...

Intriguing premise. I feel for young Annie's pain.

T. M. Hunter said...

Fantastic snippet! Lots of great emotions and back story to sift through here. Really draws us closer to the character. The "back from the dead" comment was one that really hit home. And I'm guessing that since everyone is dismissing her concerns, that they are well-founded in the end.

Paula Millhouse said...

Whoa - poor thing. Tragic, and now she's left dreaming about strangers in need, and no one believes her. I'll bet Annie's gonna learn to be tough as nails.

Siobhan Muir said...

So hard to be an outsider. Good snippet, Chelle.

Christina Ochs said...

Poor Annie! HOpe she figures out a way to deal with this.

Veronica Scott said...

Wow, just wow....LOVED this. So many cool aspects (although I'm sorry for all that the character has had to live through). Can't wait for more, excellent excerpt.

Charmaine Gordon said...

Karma Visited is a story well worth reading. There is evil and good in it as Annie struggles through. As one who has had a near death experience and returned from the white light , it is a remarkable experience.

Peter Vialls said...

That's a very effective sequence. A lot of information in very few words, and a great deal of emotion with it. Let's hope Annie can turn her nightmares into something positive.

The Belle in Blue said...

What a great premise, and I love everything about this snippet--the backstory, the characterization, and the foreshadowing for the rest of the story. I also love your cover! Great job.

~Joyce Scarbrough

P.T.Wyant said...

Great back story. Poor little one with no one to help her understand...

Caitlin Stern said...

Why don't people listen to children? Yes, sometimes they're making stuff up, but other times, they aren't.

Linda said...

That sounds interesting. I wonder if she will ever have time to save people though. It seems like her dreams sort of happen at the same time as the dangerous events themselves.

Author, Neva Rodriguez said...

This is such an eerie story, I love it! Dreams are so intriguing to me and Annie, well I think I'm going to have to buy the book! Great writing.

Stephanie said...

There's something really poignant about reading her memories of what she lost as a child. Her wondering why her parents couldn't come back when she did felt very real. Great work!

Daelyn Morgana said...

Oooh, the heartstrings. Poor girl. What a real life nightmare on top of the new nightmares. Wow... I wonder how she managed to cope with a "gift" like that for the rest of her life. Something like that changes a person.

Rachel Sanderson said...

I really like this concept and look forward to seeing where you take it. I think the shift from Annie as an adult to Annie as a child works well, and gives a sense of her gift (if you would call it that!) and the vulnerability and pain it must cause her.

Iris B said...

It reminds me a bit of Alison Dubois. Interesting blurb and I look forward to finding out where all of this is heading.

Emmy Gatrell said...

Oh, poor thing. Great snippet!