What does it
take to get through many of life’s adversities? Why does it seem so easy for
some and hard for others? And knowing all of this why do authors (like me) like
to put their favorite characters through the wringer?
The answer
to the last question is clear (at least to me it is) — I like to throw all
kinds of troubles at my characters simply because I can and because dealing
with life’s troubles is just LIFE (did you ever notice that LIFE is a 4-letter
word?).I’m not a sage, I don’t have all the answers, but I know that most
of life’s challenges CAN be managed. Like many of my characters I’ve had more
than one life-event figuratively slap me in the face, I am no superhuman, but
SO FAR I have survived.
Here are a
few of the hurdles my heroines have had to contend with: Paige was raped; Julie
is stalked; Annie has an abusive husband; Deanna is kidnapped and held hostage;
Caitlyn’s husband can’t remember her the day after their wedding; Sudah
encounters prejudice because of her religion; Samantha has to hire a bodyguard because
someone is trying to kill her; Layne goes into hiding because she fears losing
her child; and Alli winds up having to defend the man she loves from a murder
charge. Whew! And I am not even going to start on the mishaps my heroes face.
Indeed I am
trying to find humor in this post, but sometimes life does get to some people’s
ability to function, and that is not so funny. Everyone has a bit of trauma and
drama in their lives and sometimes their coping mechanisms seem to break down.
Folks become despondent, they give up and sometimes all they want to do is
escape.
Z. Hereford wrote that “When you
respond positively and constructively to your biggest challenges the qualities
of strength, courage, character and perseverance emerge from deep inside of
you.”
Here are
some recommended strategies for dealing with life’s negative events: Accept
that adversity is inevitable in life; Create and know who is in your support
system; Know that there are others before you who have survived adversity; and Don’t
focus on past negative events, shake off the self-pity.
Throughout life there
will be challenges, disappointments, pain, physical and mental blows — it is
important to Take Care of Yourself. Simple things like sleep and diet can go a
long way. Understand that each person can view his own difficulties as
something magnified, whenever anyone is in crisis it may seem as if their world
is ending.
Do not
self-medicate (alcohol, drugs, etc) or ignore the difficulty you might be
experiencing. Don’t close yourself off from others, you should never feel
isolated when you are in pain and need. Believe in yourself and in your
self-worth. It is okay if you take to prayer or meditation IF you have a belief
in a higher power.
Most importantly, if you feel your pain is beyond your
coping ability, whether it is physical, emotional, financial, or social — IT IS
ALRIGHT TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE.
You are important.
