Help me write an HEA

As a romance author I am used to writing Happily Ever After (HEA) endings — I’m hoping that someone will help us to “write” an HEA for my family. My brother, Del (legally my brother-in-law) desperately needs a kidney. Del has Polycystic Kidney Disease and is now in End Stage Kidney Disease. He is registered with RJWBarnabas Health (NJ)  and a few other hospitals as well as with Renewal. 

Everywhere I look lately it seems that there are many people needing new kidneys, I’m not a doctor or scientist, but it seems so prevalent. The number of people requiring a kidney transplant has been increasing each year, the number of transplants received has remained at a stable and alarmingly low level over the years.

I read stories about folks searching for matches (living donors provide the best chances AND most of us have two working kidneys so can afford to donate one). It is so heartbreaking though to read how loving relatives and friends have tried to donate a kidney only to find that they are not compatible matches. I have a suggestion for you…

If you are not a compatible match, see if you are a match for another person in need, like Del, and begin a donation chain in your friend’s name. You will save multiple lives and move your friend’s name closer to the top so that the chances of finding a compatible donation are much greater. Likewise, you can get tested for Del Du-Bois (he needs a type O kidney) and if you are not compatible you can start a donation chain in Del’s name; this goes for any blood type.

Del is a husband, dad, grandfather, brother and a wonderful friend. He has been active in his community and his house of worship, and also with a local observatory where he has helped educate young minds in the study of astronomy. He is very loved by his family and friends alike.

Would you please help give my family, and so many others who need a kidney, a chance for a Happily Ever After? Thank you.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful, happy and healthy holiday season and New Year.

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Del Needs A Kidney

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A Kidney for Del Du-Bois

my husband & me, and my sister & Del

Renewal ~ #MondayBlogs

We’re in the middle the Jewish holidays, last week was Rosh Hashanah (beginning of the Jewish New Year) and this coming week is Yom Kippur. Traditionally most people who observe the holiday take time off from work to pray and reflect on their actions, to ask forgiveness for slights don to others (intentionally or unintentionally) and to forgive those who might have slighted us.

I’ve been lucky (workwise) in recent months and have dealt with multiple deadlines; so my first reaction after sundown the second day of Rosh Hashanah as I hurried back to my desk (yes I work from home) was thinking that I LOST two days I could have worked! And then I caught myself… I hadn’t lost anything, I reflected on who I was and who I was trying to be. The self-reflection helped me to learn WHY I did the work I do, it helped me to understand what my priorities are.

In addition to the peacefulness I feel after making earnest attempts to forgive others that I had been angered or hurt by, I also have gained valuable time in my life that isn’t wasted by tears and resentment. My reflection has forced me to face my own failings and has given me the encouragement to be better, kinder, and more productive. The time I spent in prayer and thought also made realize all the people in my life and all the things I have that I am so very grateful for.

I can’t promise to always think before I act or speak, and I can’t be sure I will always react kinder and fairer when something or someone “rubs me wrong”, but I know it is important to try. If one ten-day period (the Days of Awe) were enough to guarantee improvement, we wouldn’t need this yearly ritual. The ten day period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is a time for self-reflection, repentance and renewal. The process of our atonement concludes with Yom Kippur which this year begins this Tuesday at sundown and goes through Wednesday at sundown.

There is irony in our New Year’s observance; Rosh Hashanah actually begins on the first day of the seventh month. There are three other New Year observances on the Jewish calendar but Rosh Hashanah is the most major and yet all that makes it most unique is the blowing of the shofar and preceding Yom Kippur so closely. The shofar, a ram’s horn, allows each listener to interpret the message they hear, a patterned series of blasts that seems to reach into our hearts and minds. This is a period of renewal, we figuratively wipe the slate clean.

I gave myself some extra time before resuming my work and when I did start again I felt less pressure and in a happier mood. And even though I was much closer to deadlines… I didn’t miss a single one.

It’s important to take a few steps back now and then, to take a look at ourselves, re-organize our priorities, be more accepting of others, and be thankful for what we have. It definitely makes for a nicer life.

click here to hear the Shofar