I Say Po-TAY-To, You Say Po-TAH-To

The original title of this week’s blog post was going to be “The Dumbing Down of the English Language” but then after an interesting discussion I was reminded that we each look at things from different perspectives. (The discussion was on Facebook of course, where else during these days of social distancing do you have the chance to discuss topics with such passion?)

There was a recent article about Houston realtors wanting to formally drop the term “Master”, such as in suite, bedroom, bathroom, etc. from their listings and replacing the term with “Principle”. I immediately thought of the bathroom unit attached to the bedroom my husband and I use; when we bought this house the description called it the Master Suite (aka the Master Bedroom and the Master Bath) and these two units take up one entire side of our home. The other side of our house has two more bedrooms (which we use as a den/office and a guest room) and the Main Bathroom. My first inane thought was how confusing it would be to say the Main Bathroom and the Principle Bathroom! Then of course I started thinking of all the places we could replace the word “Master” — Master’s Degree, Master Chef, Masterpiece, and (sorry) Masturbate…

Then I went on the read the article and learned the reasoning behind the change and I truly felt some guilt for making fun of it. It is the belief that America’s descendants of slaves associate the term Master with their history of slavery and having to serve AND BE OWNED by often cruel Masters. While some part of me still sees no need for the exclusion of the word from realtor listings, another part of me feels a little guilty for not immediately understanding and being sensitive. After reading the explanations and the descriptions of slaves who were both brought here against their will and then subjugated, actually bought and sold, and OWNED by MASTERS, I understand now my need to be sensitive to the horrors and possible triggers of this and other terms.

It isn’t that I wasn’t thinking, I just didn’t understand the perspective that descendants of people who were OWNED and subservient had. I will try better to understand the views, associations, and pain that such terms cause. And if indeed the word is struck from general use then it is my goal to accept it fully. In the end it is all about perspective and it sometimes blurs the right and wrong, but once it’s been pointed out we need to be more considerate of each other.

People Hear What They Want to Hear ~ #MondayBlogs

Why is it that two people can listen to the exact same thing and yet hear totally different things?

Don’t worry about answering, it’s a rhetorical question.

People tend to read into difficult words rather than merely taking them at face value. “That dress really looks nice on you. It’s got a very slimming effect.” — Oh no! Does that mean I look fat? — Instead of accepting what is probably a very genuine compliment, suddenly there are tears, hurt feelings and probably anger. And that is how arguments start.

Everybody hears what they are open to hearing based on their experiences and beliefs. Politicians get to say a lot of sometimes “nothing” and yet every speech will be met with cheers and jeers based on what the listeners WANT to believe. I WANT to believe that all my financial woes can be solved by a single act of a new shopping complex and the revenue it would bring to the area; I DON’T WANT to believe that giving up my brand new shiny car will help solve global warming. The politician says the new factory which will open up jobs will be the best thing and scrubbers will be installed in every smokestack — if I need a job, I’ll hear the opportunity of a new business; but if my child is an asthmatic the words that will be loudest to me will be “scrubbers in every smokestack” and depending on my level of trust…

We tend to listen selfishly with our own interests out front. We are afraid to accept, or hear, anything that might make us question the beliefs we’ve been loudly professing. We’ll attend a campaign speech to “listen” to the words of our favorite candidate and we are rarely disappointed. We focus on the things we want to hear and all the rest is just background noise. Almost everybody in the crowd does the same thing and it’s easy to get swept up with the emotional response, cheering and clapping. When the speech is over we turn and clap each other on the backs for a job-well-done as if we were the ones receiving all of the approving applause. Later when we are asked what was said, suddenly all we can remember are the good points that we agreed with, and we might not even remember the exact words, we just repeat the very things that drew us, right or wrong, to this candidate.

It’s frustrating when we are trying to get our message and meaning out there and someone is just not listening to the words. Chances are, though, we might be doing just the same thing. Selective hearing? Biased hearing? It’s a collective problem.

Psychologists tell us that we need to train ourselves to not only listen, but to listen from the other person’s point of view. If you can argue FOR an opposing view you wind up expanding your mind. And maybe it won’t make you change your mind but it will certainly allow you stronger belief in what YOU want to hear.

The Toilet Paper Campaign Promise ~ #MondayBlogs

It was almost the end of my junior year in high school. We were running for offices in the high school Student Organization, S.O. for short, for what would be my senior year. A group of friends convinced me to run for the position of secretary and to my delight it didn’t take long for enough students to sign the petition to get my name on the ballot. Each of the candidates had their own troop of campaign workers and it seemed that all of the candidates were friendly and considerate of each other.

Home-made posters were hung on all of the walls and just like all of the other candidates for the S.O. I spoke to my fellow students in the classrooms and lunch room to learn what their concerns were and what I could address. I believed in keeping my campaign promises real. Fortunately our campaigns were “clean” and no one resorted to dirty politics or back stabbing. The school paper interviewed each of us and devoted more or less equal and non-biased coverage. In the long run we all got a very pleasant introduction to “politics”.

The school arranged a special assembly the morning that ballots were to be cast. We were each allowed three minutes to present our platforms and address the issues we would be fighting for. Speeches were prepared to keep us organized and the friendly competition felt very, very real. We were called to the lectern in turns; all of the candidates were grouped together.

There were two of us running for secretary and I was the first of our level. I promised to speak to the administration about things like the open hours of the school’s student store, access to our third-floor rooftop “courtyard” (the school was in the heart of NYC and sat in the middle of tall business-buildings), school dances, and other things students told me were important to them. I was so pleased to get a sizeable round of applause and I felt good. Yes, a little bit of me was beginning to want the win, but in reality whether I won or lost I was enjoying the experience.

When I sat the other student running for secretary, Fran, was called up. I remember how she didn’t even pull out any index cards for her speech. She addressed the full auditorium, repeated her name and the position she was running for and then made one campaign promise.

I can still hear her words, “I PROMISE YOU SOFTER TOILET PAPER IN ALL OF THE BATHROOMS!”

There was a standing ovation and loud whistles and cheers that finally had to be shushed by the teachers. When the ballots were cast that afternoon Fran won in a landslide. It was no wonder, she was brilliant — she told the voters exactly what they wanted to hear.

When she assumed her responsibilities at the beginning of the new school year, she did a nice job… BUT the one promise she had made was something she never had control of (the NYC Board of Education bought the paper in bulk and doled it out to each building). The toilet paper in the bathrooms remained one-ply and scratchy for my entire senior year.

She told the voters what they wanted to hear and they voted for her based on that. In the end the students never got what they were promised. Candidates in our “adult” real-world elections always make promises and so often, after their election, we simply don’t see those promises coming to fruition. Prospective voters are swept up by promises of what they want to hear and continually disappointed once their chosen candidate takes office.

While Fran and I remained friends with no hard feelings, I did learn a very important lesson that year. Research for yourself and check out the candidate’s political history before casting a vote. Be informed when you walk into the voting booth.

...

New additions to the dictionary ~ #MondayBlogs

Imagine being an ESL (English as a second language) student nowadays. You think you’ve learned the English language and you’re feeling really proud. That’s when someone complains to you about their textpectation (anticipation of receiving a TEXT message); you hear others laughing about being photobombed (having an unexpected guest appear in a photo); and when you look puzzled, some stranger tells you to stop acting like a derp (to express actual or feigned ignorance or stupidity).

What language is this?

Several times a year “new” words are added to our dictionaries. These words are basically invented to fit new technology, they were once considered slang, some sound funny, and somehow these strange sounds get legitimized and become actual ammunition for our Scrabble-board games. Schoolchildren even win spelling bees by spelling these once made-up words.

Some of the more recent entries into our dictionary include: humbility (the quality of being humble); rainborical (relating to the colors of the rainbow); jeggings (leggings resembling a tight pair of jeans); eggcorn (a word or phrase that sounds like and mistakenly used for another word or phrase); and of course there’s WTF (an exclamation of surprise or outrage). You can read about more added words in the Unabridged Merriam-Webster Dictionary right here http://bit.ly/1IZ1uD4

As for me I look forward to the next game of Scrabble, jeggings is an 18-point word and eight letters; just find an S on the board, put the other seven tiles down and earn a 50-point bonus. Win-win!

Pencil Dictionary ~ public domain image from pdpics.com