Saturday, August 2, 2014

Tom "licks his wounds" - Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 08/03/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

  
See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.

The Senior Defense Attorney (Justin) grilled every witness and even tried to lay some of the blame on Tom in order to cast doubt about the defendant's (Roy Dunlop) guilt. Alli couldn't look at Tom in the courtroom. Later after court is recessed for the day and after he calls his cousin to talk and calm down, he goes to the motel's diner for a quick bite. While he's there, Alli approaches him and apologizes...


“Tom, I am sorry that Justin grilled you like that today...”
“He was just doing his job, get the scum buckets back out on the street, that was nice investigating work you did by the way, did he really have all that information about my cases or was some of it just lucky guesses?” He sounded cynical.
“I try to do my job thoroughly,” Alli sat back while the waitress poured her coffee and put the salad on the table, “I really can’t discuss the case, I just wanted to say that I had no idea who you were last night.” She chuckled, ”I guess I wasn’t as thorough as I thought, I never had your photo ID pulled.”
He couldn’t help but wonder if she would have smiled at him the way she did if she had known who he was the night before. “Well, I guess you were lucky that I wasn’t another Dunlop, who knows who else is out there walking the streets after some smooth lawyer got him off?”
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Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.

15 comments:

Heather Boyd said...

'smooth lawyer got him off' LOL what exactly happened last night? Great8. I'm intrigued

Teresa Cypher said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Teresa Cypher said...

Yep, "...after some smooth lawyer got him off?” That line really resonates, Chelle! Nicely done. Good 8 :-)

Linda said...

I also want to know what happened last night. I'm sure the case is not the only thing they are interested in.

Frank C. Etier said...

I, too, enjoyed his retort. It could turn into the lead in to an important conversation between the two.
Great dialog, BTW.

Charmaine Gordon said...

Exciting dialogue. The stakes are high. And what happens next, we all wonder?

Marcia said...

Great ending comment! If she's interested in him, she's got some work ahead of her; he's pissed off! Will he settle down enough to really pay attention to her? Good stuff, Chelle.

Millie Burns said...

So, seems like he's doing his own bit of grilling : ) Not sure if it was creative punctuation or not, but all the comma's that seemed like they should have been sentences sort of pulled me out of the story a bit...

Veronica Scott said...

A tense little conversation, wonder what'll happen next and how they'll get past the current situation. Excellent excerpt!

Chelle Cordero said...

Yes, there are certainly some bumps ahead, as well as a few other "surprises".

Tom met Alli the night before after she fell on the sidewalk and "needed rescue"; it was an earlier snippet http://bit.ly/1zxENiG

tinachristopherauthor.com said...

Oh-oh, he is not a happy camper. There are some major bumps ahead. Strong snippet.

tinachristopherauthor.com said...

Oh-oh, he is not a happy camper. There are some major bumps ahead. Strong snippet.

homecomingbook said...

Is the trial still going on?

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Well, I do hate to repeat the majority, but it's what popped out to me. "...smooth lawyer got him off"
Great line!

Chelle Cordero said...

The trial is still going on, there are a lot of things that will happen before the courtroom becomes a thing of the past.