Saturday, August 16, 2014

A Clandestine Relationship ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 08/17/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.

Tom brings Alli back to her place and they spend the night talking. They agree to keep their friendship outside of the courtroom a secret and to just remain good friends... there are too many complications. She tells him about her ex-husband, her family and her job. Tom can't resist kissing her, but when the kiss deepens he pulls back.

His breathing was stilted. “I’m so sorry,” he barely mouthed the words.
“No... don’t stop,” Alli tried to hold him there, “Tom, it’s been so long since a man has touched me like this.” She looked fragile, she looked as if his next touch would either break her or fortify her.
He mumbled more to himself than to her, “my timing sucks.” Why now, he thought, why now when all his memories of Joyce had been stirred up? Tom sat up on the couch; he pulled her to him and held her against his chest while he stroked her hair.

He thought about what she had just said to him, “have you been with anyone since your husband?”

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Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.


Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Sounds like it's an attraction they won't be able to keep secret for long. Enjoyed the snippet.

Charmaine Gordon said...

Can't keep a secret here. Nice when romance blossoms despite complications. More, I want more.

Teresa Cypher said...

You've conveyed his confusion really well, Chelle. Quite the tender scene... :-)

Meka James said...

I don't thing being 'just' friends is going to work. The both have baggage but they both feel the same pull towards each other. It was a very touching scene.

Cara Bristol said...

Sweet. Such a pivotal moment in a relationship.

Anonymous said...

I suspect they're going to find things a lot more complicated than that.

Frank C. Etier said...

"his next touch would either break her or fortify her."
Great line!

Veronica Scott said...

Oh yes, these two are going to be much more than friends, I predict! Excellent excerpt, so much emotion.

Chelle Cordero said...

Thank you. You are all so right that there will be a lot that will complicate things and I will probably touch on one of these in a later snippet.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't sound like they'll be able to keep their relationship on the friend level. Great 8.

Anonymous said...

Well, it's not just attraction on his part--he cares. Which says good things about their developing relationship.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your snippet. I really liked the sexual tension with the guy trying to control himself, thinking of her feelings. He sounds like a sweet guy.

Keep smiling,