Saturday, May 23, 2015

Still frustrated ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 05/24/15

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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My entry this week is from Common Bond, Tangled Hearts. Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son. 

This scene continues right after last week. Justin is frustrated and pacing his motel room. He is remembering what led him to look for Layne and their son, a son he didn't know about. Hopefully this will answer some of last week's questions. Again, this is all a memory, this has been edited to fit.

...and now the eight nine:


"Justin, maybe you'd better sit down," Larry put his unlit pipe in his mouth, "it seems that you and some of your friends decided to do a little bit of celebrating just prior to your graduation."
A little bit of a celebration was an understatement, he remembered at least two days of nursing a hangover.
"You were the victim of a fraternity house prank, you passed out in the offices of a sperm bank."
"I wasn't even conscious, that's impossible, isn't it?"
"Apparently not; your grandfather received an anonymous letter a few years ago, he wanted things checked out thoroughly. You have a six year old son, his name is Dennis."
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
"Your grandfather and I discussed this just a week before he died, you have to go see the mother, find out what claims, if any, she plans to make against the company. This boy is legally your heir.


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About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts

Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.



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Here in the states, it is Memorial Day Weekend
Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died while serving.
On Memorial Day, the flag of the United States is raised briskly to the top of the staff and then solemnly lowered to the half-staff position, where it remains only until noon.It is then raised to full-staff for the remainder of the day. The half-staff position remembers the more than one million men and women who gave their lives in service of their country. At noon, their memory is raised by the living, who resolve not to let their sacrifice be in vain, but to rise up in their stead and continue the fight for liberty and justice for all.

16 comments:

Iris Blobel said...

Oh wow, that was some mighty prank. interesting snippet, Chelle.

Linda said...

Oh my! This doesn't sound good. Isn't the sperm bank supposed to be anonymous?

Teresa Cypher said...

Well that's a humdinger of a prank if I ever heard of one! Good premise for the story, Chelle!

Sarah W said...

That's one poorly-regulated sperm bank!

How devastating for both sides . . . and how interesting that Justin's grandfather and lawyer are more worried about the financial repercussions than the child. Or Justin's feelings.

Question: How financially liable are sperm donors to their offspring? Or do Justin's grandfather and lawyer WANT Justin to claim the child as his heir?

Sara Barnard said...

It sounds to me like the whole thing may be a set up for both Layne and Justin. . . but why? Great eight and really wonderful way to get people talking and speculating, Chelle!

Veronica Scott said...

Wow, this goes beyond prank! But an interesting set up for sure. Can't wait to read more!

Charmaine Gordon said...

You do have a way of coming up with great off the beaten path stories, Chelle. More. I definitely want more.

Eden "Kymele" Mabee said...

Like a few others, I'm sure that this had to be a set up against both Layne and Justin. But why? What is it about the two of them that made messing with them in this way important?

Ed Hoornaert said...

Ah yes, this definitely answers some questions. It raises others, though--makes me want to Google whether a sperm bank baby is a legal heir, for one thing.

Siobhan Muir said...

What Ed said. Great snippet, Chelle. :)

Elaine Cantrell said...

That's a prank gone wrong if I ever heard of one. Well done. I like the tone of the scene.

Chelle Cordero said...

When I wrote this story I had heard of a case where a sperm donor applied for parental rights. Rapists have also been granted parental rights! According to this site http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/sperm-donor-parental-rightsobligations.html it seems to be even more of a grey area than I thought. Especially considering that Justin unknowingly donated he never waived his rights. I guess it all comes down to how much legal representation you can afford.
I'm glad I got everyone pondering this ;)

caitlinsternwrites said...

Wow, that's some terrible friends he had.

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

Intriguing premise for a story. I'm interesting in finding out how everyone concern will handle this. What a prank! I think he could do with better friends. lol

P.T.Wyant said...

Would she even have known who the father was if he hadn't gone to tell her?

JTsuruoka said...

Well then... that's a perspective-changer if I ever heard of one. Nicely laid out, Chelle. You did it in such a way that those pivotal words -- about the son-- have maximum impact.