Saturday, May 2, 2015

About their son ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 05/03/15

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

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My entry this week is from Common Bond, Tangled Hearts. Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son. 

This is the opening scene and the first encounter between Justin Ross and Layne Gillette. Justin has shown up unexpectedly at Layne's door. Creative editing has been used to make this fit... and at that, sorry, it's 9 sentences.

...and now the eight nine:


If he was reading her surprised expression right, she was expecting somebody else to be on the other side of the door when she swung it wide open. Cautiously, the willowy blonde pushed the door partly closed before politely inquiring if she could help him.
Justin took his time letting his eyes roam from her short, tousled hair down to her very long legs; he noticed, in typical male fashion, how very shapely those long legs were.
Layne felt uncomfortable as the stranger's eyes made their leisurely excursion.
"Is there something you want?" she impatiently asked.
We need to talk."
"What do you and I have to talk about?

"Layne," he tried to reach out for her, she sidestepped him, "we need to talk about our son." He saw her look of shock.


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About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts

Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.



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18 comments:

Iris Blobel said...

Son ??

This is getting better and better!

P.T.Wyant said...

Well, now, that's definitely not what she was expecting! Nice detail in the description, too.

Charmaine Gordon said...

A shack to the system and told so well. Explanation coming soon, I hope.

Kim Magennis said...

Things are about to get complicated. Nice nine Chelle.

Linda said...

What! Their son? But how can that be?

Sarah W said...

This is a terrific premise, Chelle!

I'm assuming that the ex-husband is the one who forced the insemination? What a peach . . .

Cecilia Corona said...

What?! Bombshell right?! Great snippet can't wait for more.

Veronica Scott said...

Wow, you've got the most fascinating story premise here. I liked the way the excerpt built up the tension. Terrific!

Siobhan Muir said...

That'll definitely get her attention. Good snippet, Chelle.

Teresa Cypher said...

Oooh, that second-to-last sentence! I'd be in shock, too! Intriguing, Chelle!

Ed Hoornaert said...

Okay, this sure took the story in a new direction. The only explanation that comes to mind is roofies, but if Layne is a good guy, that isn't likely. Intriguing twist!

Elaine Cantrell said...

That grabbed her attention. Super beginning.

Jennifer Reynolds said...

Talk about shocking news. Wow!!!

caitlinsternwrites said...

Yikes! Should he really be checking her out before sharing a secret like that?

JTsuruoka said...

Yeah, I can see how that would be a shock... Interesting premise.

Author, Neva Rodriguez said...

Yes, there is something he wants to talk about. Very hot. The end was a shocker! Great eight!

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

What a way to end the snippet. I want to know what he has to say.

Aheila said...

What a premise! I'm very curious to read how that conversation goes.