Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
I am sharing snippets from a new short story I wrote, Always One More Time. This story has just been released in a terrific anthology called HeartWorks ~ Eight Great Stories of Love, Passion, and Romance from Vanilla Heart Publishing Authors Charmaine Gordon, Paul Zunckel, Chelle Cordero, Neva Squires-Rodriguez, Lauren Shiro, Tamara Philip, Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard, and Angela Kay Austin.
Despite accusations that she is lying made from Jimmy's siblings, his mother is willing to hear Callie out. She seems to understand how difficult Jimmy's death was for Callie. This week Callie drops the first bombshell.
Creative editing alert! Here are ten lines...
Despite accusations that she is lying made from Jimmy's siblings, his mother is willing to hear Callie out. She seems to understand how difficult Jimmy's death was for Callie. This week Callie drops the first bombshell.
Creative editing alert! Here are ten lines...
Mrs. Bernerd tapped her foot once,
twice, while she waited for the chorus of three “yes, Mama.”
Leaning forward in her seat, Mrs. Bernerd
scrutinized Callie’s face, “do you need a glass of water?”
Callie looked at Leisha and Lawrence
and felt like cowering under their anger, when she looked back at Jimmy’s
mother she shook her head.
“Now, tell me what was between you
and my Jimmy.”
“At first we were just friends, but
soon we started dating,” her voice calmed a little as she thought of Jimmy, “we
had a pretty serious relationship by the time he was deployed; we wrote to each
other frequently.” She paused and tamped down the emotion, “Jimmy proposed to
me in a letter.”
Leisha shrieked, “she’s lying, Mama.”
Her mother turned quickly towards her
and without a word Leisha ran from the room.
“Go on,” she turned her attention
back to Callie.
“We were going to get married when he
came back home.”
~~~~~
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“Have enough courage to trust love
one more time.
And always, one more time.”
~ Maya Angelo
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~~~~~one more time.
And always, one more time.”
~ Maya Angelo
Smashwords
Kindle
Dealing with change
It seems the older I get the more difficulty I have dealing with change! It's the minor things and it's almost laughable.
Hubby bought me a new computer laptop for my writing and I've gone from Windows 8 to Windows 10; he also bought me Microsoft Office 2013 and brought me about six years closer to the present (I didn't want to deal with the subscription aspect of 365). Basically everything is similar... same size keyboard, close enough programs, and my writing assignments (I'm a journalist as well) are the same.
But I am used to the touch of the keyboard on my old machine, which unfortunately was beginning to have problems (hey, I spend a lot of time on the computer!) and the touch pad is soooo sensitive. I've got all of this adjusting to do. Luckily most of my files are kept on external and thumb drives so I just have to plug those in to the new machine.
Woe is me, I just felt like complaining a little, lol. By next week I will have it all conquered.
Meanwhile this machine is GORGEOUS!
But I am used to the touch of the keyboard on my old machine, which unfortunately was beginning to have problems (hey, I spend a lot of time on the computer!) and the touch pad is soooo sensitive. I've got all of this adjusting to do. Luckily most of my files are kept on external and thumb drives so I just have to plug those in to the new machine.
Woe is me, I just felt like complaining a little, lol. By next week I will have it all conquered.
Meanwhile this machine is GORGEOUS!
16 comments:
I'm getting the impression Jimmy was waiting to tell his family in person because he knew this wasn't the sort of thing they'd handle well from a mere letter.
The mother sounds like a fair person, like she's willing to listen.
It's too bad Jimmy never told his family about his relationship, but it sounds like his mom might be reasonable.
I read this story, loved the way it unfolded with delicacy and strength, a human condition.
I hope she saved the letter -- sounds like his siblings might need proof. I wonder if he didn't tell them because he was afraid they would react like that.
Yeah, I can see why he didn't tell them before. I hope his mother will be the voice of reason here. And I agree with Paula--I hope she saved the letter.
~Joyce Scarbrough
I feel so sorry for her, having the be the one to tell them these things alone. I admire her bravery though. Great snippet.
Hmmm. I am anticipating there is more than the engagement to be discussed. Excellent snippet, Chelle!
What a hard place to be, both for the fiancee and for the mother. Great snippet, Chelle. Since it's already out it may be too late to change this, but when sentences of dialog start after the comma, they're still capitalized. Leisha shrieked, “she’s lying, Mama.” should be: Leisha shrieked, "She's lying, Mama." :)
Rough times...nothing like getting in good with the future in-laws early. Too bad he couldn't have waited to have her break the news after he came home. :-)
There's a lot of tension in that room, but a mom who's not to be crossed is a good thing in a time like that. Great snippet!
That mom has pretty good control over her children's behavior, even if she doesn't seem to have informed their minds. How sad, to lose so much--and not have anyone even know about your relationship!
My heart hurts for her. Great snippet.
Lots of emotion in this scene. And it's taking on a touchy subject--as much as we don't like to admit that's the case. :-)
I'm wondering why she has to go through that in front of so much hostility, is there some secret his family really needs to know? At least his mother is great.
I love this line! "Her mother turned quickly towards her and without a word Leisha ran from the room." It says so much about the mother's personality and character, and I love how she's so willing and understanding to hear Callie out.
Poor girl seems so nervous and heartbroken yet. But proposed in a letter? That is a new one.
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