Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday round. Every week writers post 8-to-10 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
I am sharing snippets from a new short story I wrote, Always One More Time. This story has just been released in a terrific anthology called HeartWorks ~ Eight Great Stories of Love, Passion, and Romance from Vanilla Heart Publishing Authors Charmaine Gordon, Paul Zunckel, Chelle Cordero, Neva Squires-Rodriguez, Lauren Shiro, Tamara Philip, Gwendolyn Jensen-Woodard, and Angela Kay Austin.
Last week Callie introduced herself to Jimmy's mother as a "friend". The last line was "How did you know my Jimmy, girl?"
Creative editing alert! Here are ten lines...
Last week Callie introduced herself to Jimmy's mother as a "friend". The last line was "How did you know my Jimmy, girl?"
Creative editing alert! Here are ten lines...
He came in where I work, I do intake
at the V.A., he had to come in for a physical.”
“Oh,” The woman’s expression changed
when Callie mentioned the Veterans’ Hospital, “he died over there…”
Callie felt her throat clench, “I
know, I’m sorry that I missed the funeral service, I didn’t find out —”
Lawrence stepped in, “We tried to
contact all of his friends, sorry, we didn’t know about you.”
She looked down to hide her tears, “I
realize that.”
“You poor child,” Mrs. Bernerd took
her hand again, “to find out your friend has died and no one even let you know.
It is so sweet of you to come to pay your respects.”
“Mrs. Bernerd,” Callie was hesitant,
“Jimmy and I weren’t just… friends, we… we were together.”
“Oh hell no,” the young woman on the
couch sprang to her feet angrily, “my brother dating a white woman? You’re
lying.”
~~~~~
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
“Have enough courage to trust love
one more time.
And always, one more time.”
~ Maya Angelo
Buy Links
Smashwords
Kindle
~~~~~one more time.
And always, one more time.”
~ Maya Angelo
Smashwords
Kindle
I love a good, romantic story any day!
Wishing you a wonderful day & the making of terrific memories.
Just for fun,
a bit of
v 110 million roses, mostly red ones,
will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period.
v Valentine’s Day is the big time of
year for red roses. Mother’s Day sees more pastel-colored roses sold.
v Most roses sold on Valentine’s Day in
the U.S. are imported from South America.
v 15% of American women send themselves
flowers on Valentine’s Day.
v About 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards
are exchanged each year.
v About 25% of Valentine’s Day cards
are funny.
v Hallmark, the famous card company,
makes over 1,330 different cards for Valentine’s Day.
v More than 35 million heart-shaped
boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine’s Day.
v In the U.S., 64% of men don’t make
plans in advance for a romantic Valentine’s Day with their sweethearts.
v About
3% of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.
17 comments:
I don't think she knows her brother as well as she thinks she does.
Wow--that last line! Good snippet, Chelle!
Thanks for all the V-day stats. Interesting. :-)
Well isn't this interesting. She didn't know your brother too well, did she?
Oh ... that last line. A bit of a twist here ?
That is interesting. They were an item, yet she missed the funeral. Hmmm!
That is interesting. They were an item, yet she missed the funeral. Hmmm!
Beyond wonderful, Chelle. You brought me right into the room with her.
I have a feeling Callie has more to tell them so the sister might as well sit down and prepare herself. Great snippet!
Poor girl, to miss the funeral of the guy you were dating, and then get more grief from his family!
With an attitude like that, no wonder they didn't know about her. If race is such an issue, who would tell their family unless they had to?
Oh man, that'll do it. Great snippet, Chelle.
Great situation, Chelle. Not only is she grieving her lover, she faces retroactive family antagonism, too. Poor girl.
Plot twist! And it's finally revealed why she's so nervous and torn apart. Great snippet, I'm enjoying this story.
So much to wonder about here. I'm hooked! Hope you share more next week.
~Joyce Scarbrough
Poor girl. I wonder about any other surprises she might have for the family. Great snippet. :)
I didn't see that coming. Great snippet!
Wow, that last line totally changes the tone of the snippet, I didn't see that coming.
Post a Comment