Saturday, November 1, 2014

How Kimmie Died ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 11/02/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Last week I started with a snippet from the story Not Alone from my short story collection, The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero.. Told in 1st person POV we learned that someone had died and everyone was blaming Jordan, including the narrator. Here is another snippet from the story and we'll find out a bit more of what happened...



I left the party that night early, too early to know that Kimmie’s boyfriend dumped her and left her at the party while he went home with another girl. She was upset and shouldn’t have been drinking; most of the folks at the party were under the legal drinking age – but that’s another issue altogether.

Kimmie wanted to go home, she couldn’t even hold onto her keys, Jordan offered to drive her. He drank a beer early in the evening, he was one of the few who could legally, and then he hadn’t had anything else for hours. The cops even said that his blood alcohol level was well below the legal limits, Jordan was just trying to be a nice guy.

I visited Jordan in his hospital room right after I heard about the accident, I didn’t even know that Kimmie was dead. Jordan was devastated, he told me how he got cut off on that dark and winding road and the car rolled down the embankment. There were no witnesses; just a minor paint scrape on the front fender.

 For more WeWriWa snippets, go to www.wewriwa.com


Not Alone

Sometimes forgiveness seems impossible, but then so is turning your back on a friend.

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The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero is a single author collection of short stories featuring Introduction, Pussycat Tails, Holiday Happiness, Not Alone, I Swear That Raccoon Just Knocked on the Door, Stormy Weather, A Mother’s Love, More Than a Friend, The Meeting, The Vacation and a special bonus section.

14 comments:

Charmaine Gordon said...

Heartbreaking in your matter of fact writing. Proving less is often better. I definitely want to learn more. Thanks, Chelle.

frankmfisher.net said...

What a sad ending for Kimmie. I'd love to know more about how that car accident happened.

Lauren Shiro said...

Oooh! This dark, creepy, tragic...very wonderful snippet. Definitely grabbed my attention. I hope to read more snippets from this one. Very well done!

Veronica Scott said...

Such a tragic but realistic scenario, which would of course go on affecting the survivors for years. Excellent excerpt and I definitely want to keep reading.

Author, Neva Rodriguez said...

Oh my gosh Chelle, you killed Kimmie!!! I was just getting into her character, definitely wasn't expecting that! What a tragic, but as Veronica mentioned, realistic scenario. As all eyes focus on Jordan, I can only imagine what happens next. Great eight!

Author, Neva Rodriguez said...

Oh my gosh Chelle, you killed Kimmie!!! I was just getting into her character, definitely wasn't expecting that! What a tragic, but as Veronica mentioned, realistic scenario. As all eyes focus on Jordan, I can only imagine what happens next. Great eight!

Elaine Cantrell said...

This is the kind of thing that can follow a person forever, not just what other people say, but what he thinks himself. Good job.

homecomingbook said...

Good hook.

Teresa Cypher said...

Poor Jordan. just being a nice person! Lots of details make for a visual scene, Chelle. Good 8! :-)

caitlinsternwrites said...

Certainly he was driving, but I don't think it's fair for people to blame him for an accident--it seems like he did everything right he could on the "dark and winding road."

I wonder who the other driver was, and why they didn't stop.

nicolettehugowriter.com said...

This is so tragic. He was only trying to help. Well told!

Meka James said...

Aw man, that's rough. He was trying to be nice. Kimmie was wasted and the possible fate he was trying to save her from ended up happening anyway. :( That's heartbreaking.

Chelle Cordero said...

Thank you all for your comments, there is a back-story why I wrote this short story & I think I will share that next week after my snippet.

Frank C. Etier said...

Investigators can do a lot with a minor paint scrape.
Nice 8!