Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
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I'm continuing with snippets from The Meeting, a part of The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero, a short-story collection which exemplifies (I hope) the diversity of my writing.
The story begins at a Charleston SC train station in 1942. America, still reeling from the Pearl Harbor attack, entered the war and soldiers in uniform were going off to Europe and the Pacific to fight. Life continued on the home-front.
Last week two young ladies, both Southern born and bred, were saying a tearful good-bye at the train station. A young MP riding in another car was about to step onto the platform.
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The story begins at a Charleston SC train station in 1942. America, still reeling from the Pearl Harbor attack, entered the war and soldiers in uniform were going off to Europe and the Pacific to fight. Life continued on the home-front.
Last week two young ladies, both Southern born and bred, were saying a tearful good-bye at the train station. A young MP riding in another car was about to step onto the platform.
It felt good to
stretch his legs as he stepped down from the train onto the platform. He
watched as two women tearfully hugged each other and found himself unable to
stop staring at the woman left on the platform. She was beautiful.
He lit his cigarette and took a drag and then walked
over to the woman.
Jeannette was aware of the soldier‘s stare and
tried not to let it affect her. He was a handsome man, but it just wasn‘t
polite to be scrutinized so thoroughly like that. He came even closer and she
tried to look in the other direction.
“Hello.”
The Meeting
From a random meeting in the south during WW2 to a
marriage and love that lasts for an eternity.
marriage and love that lasts for an eternity.
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The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero is a single author collection of short stories featuring Introduction, Pussycat Tails, Holiday Happiness, Not Alone, I Swear That Raccoon Just Knocked on the Door, Stormy Weather, A Mother’s Love, More Than a Friend, The Meeting, The Vacation and a special bonus section.
...and in time for the holidays!
A short story about finding holiday happiness whenyou didn’t realize it was right there with you all along.
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11 comments:
You grabbed me from the first sentence and didn't let me go. I was in the station watching the scene. Chelle, your many faces captured me.
You bounce from his thoughts to her thoughts in this snippet. Do you do that throughout the story? I want to know who is saying goodbye to whom and why...
Thanks Charmaine!
Hi Millie, I have to go back and re-read the story with the POV in mind. As for the goodbye, last week's snippet was a conversation between Jeannette and her friend - her friend is going to take care of an ill mother. Thanks for the heads up.
Intriguing set-up. I wonder why Jeanette doesn't walk away. Her friend is on the train, so she could leave, but she isn't...Great 8.
And meanwhile I'm wondering what's going on with the prisoner from last week, so obviously this story has my attention all the way! Enjoyed the snippet, felt like I was right there, watching them!
Though he probably means well, I can well understand her unease at his approaching her. He better have something good to say if he doesn't want to scare her off!
There is so much more I want to know! Very enigmatic piece and already a great sense of tension between the two protagonists. Wonderful
Hi Chelle! I like the tension that you created here. Jeanette seems intrigued by this guy. Great eight!
Felt like I was right there. I guess looking away wasn't going to stop him from talking to her. lol
The solider is very bold with the staring and then walking up to her. All it takes is a simple hello. Looking forward to seeing if they complete the conversation or if something happens with the prisoner.
It left me wondering what happens next--and that's a good thing. :-)
I caught the head-hopping, too. A wee bit disorienting, but maybe it's just me. It didn't seem to phase any of the other readers.
Good story, Chelle!
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