Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
This is the opening scene and the first encounter between Justin Ross and Layne Gillette. Justin has shown up unexpectedly at Layne's door. Creative editing has been used to make this fit... and at that, sorry, it's 9 sentences.
...and now the
If
he was reading her surprised expression right, she was expecting somebody else
to be on the other side of the door when she swung it wide open. Cautiously,
the willowy blonde pushed the door partly closed before politely inquiring if
she could help him.
Justin
took his time letting his eyes roam from her short, tousled hair down to her
very long legs; he noticed, in typical male fashion, how very shapely those
long legs were.
Layne
felt uncomfortable as the stranger's eyes made their leisurely excursion.
"Is
there something you want?" she impatiently asked.
“We need to talk."
"What
do you and I have to talk about?”
"Layne,"
he tried to reach out for her, she sidestepped him, "we need to talk about… our son." He saw her look of shock.
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to:
About Common Bond, Tangled Hearts
Layne Gillette’s world is turned upside down when a man she has never met shows up to lay claim as the father of her 6-year old son.
Justin, the victim of a fraternity prank, and Layne, the subject of a forced insemination, have produced a beautiful child that they are both willing to protect… at all costs.
The two parents realize they can love each other, but when Layne’s abusive “ex-husband” shows up, they are torn apart by danger, kidnapping and lies. Justin won’t give up until Layne is returned to him. Layne uses her newfound strength, courage and knowledge to defy Charlie’s ugliest demands.
~~~~~~~~
18 comments:
Son ??
This is getting better and better!
Well, now, that's definitely not what she was expecting! Nice detail in the description, too.
A shack to the system and told so well. Explanation coming soon, I hope.
Things are about to get complicated. Nice nine Chelle.
What! Their son? But how can that be?
This is a terrific premise, Chelle!
I'm assuming that the ex-husband is the one who forced the insemination? What a peach . . .
What?! Bombshell right?! Great snippet can't wait for more.
Wow, you've got the most fascinating story premise here. I liked the way the excerpt built up the tension. Terrific!
That'll definitely get her attention. Good snippet, Chelle.
Oooh, that second-to-last sentence! I'd be in shock, too! Intriguing, Chelle!
Okay, this sure took the story in a new direction. The only explanation that comes to mind is roofies, but if Layne is a good guy, that isn't likely. Intriguing twist!
That grabbed her attention. Super beginning.
Talk about shocking news. Wow!!!
Yikes! Should he really be checking her out before sharing a secret like that?
Yeah, I can see how that would be a shock... Interesting premise.
Yes, there is something he wants to talk about. Very hot. The end was a shocker! Great eight!
What a way to end the snippet. I want to know what he has to say.
What a premise! I'm very curious to read how that conversation goes.
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