Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
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Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.
Tom brings Alli back to her place and they spend the night talking. They agree to keep their friendship outside of the courtroom a secret and to just remain good friends... there are too many complications. She tells him about her ex-husband, her family and her job. Tom can't resist kissing her, but when the kiss deepens he pulls back.
Oneida County Courthouse, Rome NY
Tom brings Alli back to her place and they spend the night talking. They agree to keep their friendship outside of the courtroom a secret and to just remain good friends... there are too many complications. She tells him about her ex-husband, her family and her job. Tom can't resist kissing her, but when the kiss deepens he pulls back.
His
breathing was stilted. “I’m so sorry,” he barely mouthed the words.
“No...
don’t stop,” Alli tried to hold him there, “Tom, it’s been so long since a man
has touched me like this.” She looked fragile, she looked as if his next touch
would either break her or fortify her.
He
mumbled more to himself than to her, “my timing sucks.” Why now, he thought,
why now when all his memories of Joyce had been stirred up? Tom sat up on the
couch; he pulled her to him and held her against his chest while he stroked her
hair.
He
thought about what she had just said to him, “have you been with anyone since
your husband?”
Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.
~~~~~~
Previous Within the Law #WeWriWa snippets:
- Introducing Tom in Within the Law
- The Acceptance
- Tom meets Alli
- The next time he sees Alli
- Tom is called to the stand
- Tom "licks his wounds"
- Tom can't avoid his attraction to Alli
Oneida County Courthouse, Rome NY
12 comments:
Sounds like it's an attraction they won't be able to keep secret for long. Enjoyed the snippet.
Can't keep a secret here. Nice when romance blossoms despite complications. More, I want more.
You've conveyed his confusion really well, Chelle. Quite the tender scene... :-)
I don't thing being 'just' friends is going to work. The both have baggage but they both feel the same pull towards each other. It was a very touching scene.
Sweet. Such a pivotal moment in a relationship.
I suspect they're going to find things a lot more complicated than that.
"his next touch would either break her or fortify her."
Great line!
Kudos!
Oh yes, these two are going to be much more than friends, I predict! Excellent excerpt, so much emotion.
Thank you. You are all so right that there will be a lot that will complicate things and I will probably touch on one of these in a later snippet.
Doesn't sound like they'll be able to keep their relationship on the friend level. Great 8.
Well, it's not just attraction on his part--he cares. Which says good things about their developing relationship.
I enjoyed your snippet. I really liked the sexual tension with the guy trying to control himself, thinking of her feelings. He sounds like a sweet guy.
Keep smiling,
Yawatta
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