Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.
See more at the WeWriWa blog
Last week I started with a snippet from the story Not Alone from my short story collection, The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero.. Told in 1st person POV we learned that someone had died and everyone was blaming Jordan, including the narrator. Here is another snippet from the story and we'll find out a bit more of what happened...
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As word of Kimmie’s death spread across the campus, the
ostracizing began. Her friends and classmates were too stunned to think beyond
losing such a young, vibrant friend. Kimmie’s parents had suffered one of the worst
things that ever could happen to a parent; they had no room for forgiveness in
their hearts, grief was taking up too much space. It was easier to blame
someone than to try to make sense of it, our friends turned on Jordan as well.
I cried non-stop at Kimmie’s funeral and thought of all the
long phone calls we had and the shopping trips to the mall and cramming for
tests. I couldn’t imagine a world without my best friend or a world without her
laughter. Even though I knew that Jordan had been banned from attending the
funeral I was angry that he wasn’t there to witness the mourning, the loss and
the questions of how we were all supposed to go on.
That was yesterday.
Not Alone
Sometimes forgiveness seems impossible, but then so is turning your back on a friend.
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The Many Faces of Chelle Cordero is a single author collection of short stories featuring Introduction, Pussycat Tails, Holiday Happiness, Not Alone, I Swear That Raccoon Just Knocked on the Door, Stormy Weather, A Mother’s Love, More Than a Friend, The Meeting, The Vacation and a special bonus section.
The Inspiration For This Story: First let me put the disclaimer here that this story is PURE fiction, however I was inspired to write it after an incident that happened near my home.
Without going into the identifying details - a young man that we had known for a number of years was involved in a work related accident, he was driving. His co-worker, sitting in the passenger seat, was severely injured and left disabled, no one knew for sure, including the doctors, if she would even survive. It was known that his injuries, although serious, were not life threatening and after long-term physical therapy would be overcome. Although witnesses came forward to say he didn't appear to be at fault, the girl's parents and several friends blamed him for her injuries.
I remember speaking with him one evening when he came to visit, he was still wearing a back brace and bandages. He was blaming himself - he said maybe if his reaction had been quicker, if the major impact was on his side and not hers, if he had chosen a different route all together, if, if, if...
What I remember most from our conversation that night was a combination of hurt and anger he expressed - while in the hospital they placed him under a suicide watch because, when he first found out how maimed she was, he uttered the words, "It should have been me." He told me that the last thing he would do would be to take "the easy way out" and relieve himself of his guilt by killing himself.
The case went to trial and he was found innocent of criminal negligence, but did lose a lawsuit in civil court her parents initiated. He also lost his livelihood because of liability after the lawsuit.
I definitely thought of the pain in this young man's eyes when I created Jordan.
The Inspiration For This Story: First let me put the disclaimer here that this story is PURE fiction, however I was inspired to write it after an incident that happened near my home.
Without going into the identifying details - a young man that we had known for a number of years was involved in a work related accident, he was driving. His co-worker, sitting in the passenger seat, was severely injured and left disabled, no one knew for sure, including the doctors, if she would even survive. It was known that his injuries, although serious, were not life threatening and after long-term physical therapy would be overcome. Although witnesses came forward to say he didn't appear to be at fault, the girl's parents and several friends blamed him for her injuries.
I remember speaking with him one evening when he came to visit, he was still wearing a back brace and bandages. He was blaming himself - he said maybe if his reaction had been quicker, if the major impact was on his side and not hers, if he had chosen a different route all together, if, if, if...
What I remember most from our conversation that night was a combination of hurt and anger he expressed - while in the hospital they placed him under a suicide watch because, when he first found out how maimed she was, he uttered the words, "It should have been me." He told me that the last thing he would do would be to take "the easy way out" and relieve himself of his guilt by killing himself.
The case went to trial and he was found innocent of criminal negligence, but did lose a lawsuit in civil court her parents initiated. He also lost his livelihood because of liability after the lawsuit.
I definitely thought of the pain in this young man's eyes when I created Jordan.
11 comments:
Such a sad situation and I appreciated the backstory after the excerpt, about the real life incident that inspired you. I thought the excerpt was very believable and how the situation would unfold in real life....
So unbearably poignant, you broke my heart. Beautifully written, Chelle, this is something that happens on a daily basis-breaking new.
Painful, but so true to real life.
I Like that this is part of it. "...of how we were all supposed to go on." It adds such poignancy to the excerpt. Good excerpt, Chelle.:-)
Incredible snippet brimming with emotions.
I really feel for Jordan. He's probably already blaming himself for what happened, and everyone else blaming him too will just make him feel worse. Great emotions in this snippet!
So unfair, but it does help to have someone to blame. Otherwise they might have to blame themselves. Usually a lot of people could have changed such a tragic event, if they'd tried.
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So sad. It is easier to blame the driver than really understand what happened. I feel bad for Jordan in this. He's become the monster in this and all he wanted to do was help.
Love it, what a powerful piece. I remember losing a friend in high school and being left with all the painful memories of their existence....even to this day. Great eight!
Oh wow...
Very moving and very realistic. It's interesting to see how people's perceptions cloud their judgement of a situation and are so quick to form an opinion without knowing the actual facts of what occurred. You have captured this perfectly!
I can't wait to read more!
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