Saturday, February 8, 2014

The last snippet from A Chaunce of Riches ~ Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 02/08/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Next week I'll move on to another story, it's getting harder and harder to choose snippets without spoilers.

In the meanwhile, Sam was injured in a workplace accident - her fear and pain and Ben's guilt (that she was hurt on his watch), his relentless resentment about her abandonment and his frustrating attraction to her had them sniping at one another in last week's snippet. Sedated on pain medication, she wakes to find the house on fire and she can't reach her son's room; she's relieved to hear Ben say he's got Philip... (creative punctuation)

“I’m taking him downstairs. Go out to your balcony, I’ll be there, I’ll catch you.”
She stood frozen for just a minute while she heard him jump down the stairs; Philip’s crying moved away and she knew he was safe. Sam was hit with a coughing fit, she could feel the smoke in her lungs; it stung her eyes.
Dropping to her knees to crawl back to her room, she touched a man’s boot, that was when she looked up and saw the fireman in his turnout coat, helmet and mask; he helped her to her feet. He was carrying a mask attached to a small tank on his belt; the fireman put the mask on her face and she gratefully took a big gulp.
As she inhaled, Sam realized something was wrong, she tried to pull back, but the fireman held the mask to her face and pulled her head forward; she struggled. Her chest was hurting from the smoke and she had a coughing spasm; finally when she could no longer fight and could no longer hold her breath, she took a huge gulp of the fumes and swallowed them.
For more WeWriWa Snippets, go to: 

The day that Ben Johnson was hired as a bodyguard for some rich widow and her kid, he never expected to be working for the woman who had abandoned him just when he had needed her the most so many years before. Damn it all, he still wanted her.
Samantha Chaunce never thought she would see him again. She never thought she would have to explain why she married the rich man over the man she had sworn she once loved. And she certainly never expected to find out that her rich husband had been murdered and fingers were pointing to her former lover. 

How far would you go for the person you loved?


Unknown said...

Well that's some scary crap right there!!!! Yikes. This isn't going to sit well with our hero!

Marcia said...

awk, didn't see that coming! Agree with Millie--scary crap! And Ben's gone outside so he doesn't know what's going on. I'll be worrying about this for a week, you know :)

Charmaine Gordon said...

Just when the reader believes the heroine is about to be saved. . .Chelle, you've ramped up the tension in this eight. Super eight.

Chelle Cordero said...

Hi Millie, Marcia & Charmaine,

Thanks for coming by. The story takes some rather unexpected twists at this point. And the following storyline relies heavily on some significant spoilers.

Next week I'm going to start with another story which I hope will intrigue everyone just as much.

Anonymous said...

I think she's just found her stalker.

Veronica Scott said...

Wow, dramatic and scary and really grabs the reader's attention! Can't wait to see what happens next (yes, I did see this is the last snippet, guess I'll have to add to my TBR list :-)

Teresa Cypher said...

I knew at some point the drama had to get big, and wow--you came through! :-) Intense! Great writing, Chelle. :-)

Chelle Cordero said...

As I tend to let my characters write the story, I often wind up surprised - when the "fireman" showed up so suddenly (& obviously before help ws called) my first thought was "oh this can't be good".

Alexis Duran said...

Way to pile on the tension! A very compelling snippet.

Sarah W said...

Holy cow, Chelle! I'm with everyone else---I wasn't expecting that at all!

If I wasn't already hooked, this would have done it!

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

How scary! Intense scene and I want to know what happens!

Smu Doodle said...

Good snipped moment of tension. Fear and fire entwined with the necessity of breathing. Taking a big gulp of sweat fresh air now.