Saturday, August 23, 2014

Cat is there to give support -

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.

Earlier in the story Tom called his cousin, Caitlyn (Cat for short) about the trial. Despite her advanced pregnancy she gets on a plane and comes to support him. Cat just arrived in town and meets Tom at the courthouse. Staying apart as they had agreed, Alli is in the lobby with the senior defense council, she watches and wonders who the pregnant woman with Tom is.

(I think I will continue with this scene for the next 2 weeks, there are some very pivotal moments...)

Caitlyn put her hand up to Tom’s cheek, “Tommy, how is it going?”
He shook his head, “It’s not good, I think this guy is going to get away with it. His lawyers have made mincemeat out of all the witnesses.” Tom sighed, “Cat, they practically had me exonerating him.”

She put her arms around his middle and hugged him, “Whether he pays or not, it’s not going to change what happened - in the long run, it doesn’t even matter anymore. If he receives a sentence, will you finally stop blaming yourself?” 
He hesitated and then shook his head.

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Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.
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Charmaine Gordon said...

You grabbed me from the beginning. I'm there in the hall with them feeling his torment and her compassion. Perfect snippet, Chelle.

Cara Bristol said...

I can imagine how terrible he must feel after the attorney twisted his testimony around.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like he's got a lot of weight on his shoulders. Nice snippet!

Unknown said...

Grr, damned attorneys. You have me feeling for the guy.

FCEtier said...

"around his middle" struck me as a bit awkward.
Not sure of a suggestion though...maybe "around his waist?"
Otherwise it was fine.

Gem Sivad said...

Wow, he finally meets someone who might be able to make him happy and she's defending the man who destroyed his life. What an awful(but fantastic for a book)scenario.

Catch My Words said...

Sounds like an interesting plot line. I get a great feel for how Cat feels for this man through her actions. Well done!

Meka James said...

Great 8. I could feel the emotion coming from Tom as he thinks about the trial and expresses his fears.

Veronica Scott said...

Very emotional. I like the way she's trying to get him to think things through...great snippet! Will be interesting to read more.

Teresa Cypher said...

Good snippet, Chelle. You're showing how this is really putting Tom through the ringer. Is there some jealousy there on Alli's part?

Botanist said...

Yeah, that's the trouble with the legal system, it's just a profitable game to the lawyers :(

Jenna said...

It says a lot about Tom that she would get on a plane while so pregnant just to support him. And how poignant that he's interested in the woman defending the killer of his fiancée. Never a dull moment it seems. Great 8!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to know just how sure Tom is that they've got the right guy.

Unknown said...

there's a lot of tension going on, great snippet!

Anonymous said...

You are very good at making it worse for your characters. Great snippet.

Anonymous said...

It still might make a difference--the bad guy ought to pay for his crimes, after all. But her argument has a point about how Tom will feel.

Chelle Cordero said...

Hi all, thanks for your comments.

Homecomingbook, you will find out if the guy is guilty or not in this scene.

tinachristopherauthor, things are about to get worse...

It is explained in the book (not in my snippets) & in His Lucky Charm (Cat's HEA) how close Tom & Caitlyn are - although they are cousins, they were raised as brother and sister since her parents died when she was a pre-teen. He was the only one who could "reach" her and the loyalty is returned three-fold.

Teresa Cypher, Alli doesn't know who Cat is and since she IS attracted to him, there is some extreme curiosity.