The American Predilection to Prejudice ~ #MondayBlogs

I recently watched the movie "Black or White" starring Kevin Costner and Octavia Spencer; it's a movie about a recently widowed white grandfather who is drawn into a custody dispute over his biracial granddaughter who he has raised all of her life. Overall the movie was, in my opinion, terrific. Admittedly the story does include some stereotyping: a wealthy white grandfather with a drinking problem, a crack addicted and absent black father, and a loving black grandmother who lives with her large extended family in an unsavory part of town. Personally I think those stereotypes were used to emphasize that no side is perfect or better than the other

During one of several poignant courtroom scenes where the father's family lawyer Jeremiah (played by Anthony Mackie) tries to make Elliot (played by Costner) out to be a bigot, Elliot makes a very dramatic and thought-provoking argument:

Jeremiah: Do you have a problem with racial prejudice?
Elliot: Is that what you want to make this about, Jeremiah? Really? Well then let's do it them. You've wanted to ever since Rowena first dragged you into this. So yes, we're different, you and I. You want to submit that? Submit it. We have different skin color. Is that the first thing I notice when I see a black man, the color of his skin? Yes. Submit Away. Because I can go ahead and submit that it's the first thing you see when you see a white guy. Now I don't know why that is any more than I know why when I see a good-looking woman, the first thing I notice are her breasts, because I do. But if I move on to my next thought quick enough, I'm not a pervert... I'm not a bad guy. I'm just mildly flawed. It's the same thing with race. It's not my first thought that counts, it's my second, third and fourth thought. And each and every case I'm in it comes down to the same thing, the action and the interaction with the person I'm interacting with. 

Noticing a person's physical description whether they are black or white, male or female, fat or thin, tall or short doesn't make a person a bigot. The meaning of PREJUDICE according to Google is a "preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience". Prejudice is when we allow that first look, that first impression, to make a difference in how we view an individual. We teach our children to notice the things around them, we ask our police officers to note a person's description, we hope drivers are observant about the people and places they pass. If you look with your eyes open you will see differences in our appearances. I am a short olive-toned, plumper than should be female and if you notice any of that you are simply looking AT me... BUT if you allow any of that to think that I am less or more worthy of fair treatment than any one else simply based on my appearance, then that is prejudice.

We are all raised with some preconceived notions... a white picket fence around a suburban house means a happy family... an eccentrically dressed older woman sitting on a park bench is crazy... a well dressed white man driving an expensive car is highly respected... a young black child with a torn and dirty shirt has an irresponsible single mother. We've been exposed to many of these stereotypes in our childhood homes, on TV, through single incidents. As "Elliot" said though, move on to your next thought; think of the possibilities, learn more.

As a society we've become lazy. Too many people don't want to take the time to learn about a person and about their character. Meet me, talk with me; read my resume if I am looking for a job instead of tossing it onto the rejection pile when you see the Spanish surname. Don't assume when you see the Star of David I sometimes wear that I fit every negative ethnic joke you ever heard about Jews. And if you decide I have the qualifications for the job don't pay me less than you would a man working the same position.

Yes, we have differences. Even people of the same ethnic group, gender, age range, religion have differences. And yet we are all alike, we all feel pain and joy, we all enjoy being loved, we all need sustenance, and we all need air to breathe. Even identical twins can have very different personalities, skills and desires. 

Prejudice is stopping at that first look or that first impression. Prejudice is not thinking past stereotypes. Prejudice is allowing bias to dictate how you treat someone simply because you can't or won't take the time to move on to your second, third and fourth thoughts.

Respect people for WHO they are and not for WHAT they appear to be.

Make time to learn their traditions, cultures and language.

Give meaning to the words Brotherhood and Humanity.

Imagine ~ No More Intolerance

I’m a half-Hispanic (Puerto Rican) Jewish (fully) woman with a multi-cultural and multi-religious extended family. I have been FORTUNATE to have experienced prejudice – why do I say fortunate? I was lucky enough to never have life or limb seriously threatened (a few “mild” shoving matches), but more importantly, I learned what it felt like to have bigots be unkind, deny you your rights, and treat you as if you don’t belong. And because I have been on “that side”, I know how wrong it is – I take any prejudice towards any people personally because if I accept it in any way then I am just as guilty.

I’ve been told to “go back where I came from”, that would be the Bronx in NYC. In 1968 after three weeks in the Miami sun, combined with my already medium olive complexion, I visited family in South Carolina (the year of race riots) where my blond-haired blue-eyed cousin and I got into a heap of trouble for walking down the street TOGETHER (oh my!). My first serious teen-age boyfriend was forbidden from seeing that **** (insert derogatory Hispanic term here) by his parents. As a female I’ve actually had business-people tell me that they had to speak with my husband and not “the little woman”; LITTLE? I guess I’m complimented, I may be short but… oh never mind. I’ve been called more than one nasty term to describe my ethnicity (both halves), my religion, my gender and my physical attributes. There has probably been more that just went right on over my head (I said I was short!).

I do remember an incident which I chuckle over – I was seventeen, had a wicked and distorted sense of humor, and didn’t mind lambasting someone with “shock value”. My sister (slightly fairer than me) and her blond-haired husband had a baby shortly before she came down with chicken pox; my parents and I cared for my nephew to give them a chance for her to get well and not get the infant sick. A proud aunt, I carried my fair skin nephew in an infant pouch while doing grocery shopping when this older, judgmental woman looked down her nose at me and said, loudly and nasty, “Harrumph, His father must be white!” I looked at her and then at my nephew and simply said, “You know, I really don’t know.” She did call me a slut under her breath, but I also left her jaw hanging open.

As I wrote my novel Hyphema I remembered the passive and not-so-passive prejudice I’ve lived through. It was extremely important to me to represent someone who was so good inside and yet her very appearance invited hatred. Sudah, a Pakistani Muslim immigrant married to an American-born Caucasian man wasn’t oblivious to the bigotry she encountered, but she refused to react with anger and resentment. In one scene it gave her a lot of joy to help educate others and share some of her culture as she hosted a day of cooking lessons for the wives of her husband’s new co-workers. Sadly it wasn’t just their North Carolina neighbors who reacted badly to their mixed marriage, but also her parents and family back in Pakistan.

Hyphema

Hyphema: Bleeding in the eye caused by trauma… Matt Garratti, a paramedic from New York, moves his wife and son to North Carolina to work at his dream job as a flight medic. Pakistani born Sudah, his wife, receives frosty stares and insensitive comments from their new neighbors... Matt wonders if he is pursuing his dream or bringing his family into a nightmare from which they may never wake.

In tribute to the 60^th anniversary of the Beatles coming to our shores, I leave you with John Lennon’s words: 

         Imagine        

A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

The Link Between Hyphema and The Miss America Pageant

There's a lot of noise about Syracuse-born Nina Davuluri winning the Miss America title because of her heritage. It seems that her brown-skin makes her UN-American according to some rather vocal opponents. Davuluri was born to parents who emigrated from southeastern India before her birth.

It shouldn’t matter where Miss Davuluri was born or raised anyway. "I have to rise above (the hate). I always viewed myself as first and foremost American." Those were the words she spoke after vile diatribe hit the online world.

In Hyphema, Sudah Garratti was born in Pakistan (another Asian country). She was making the appropriate moves to earn her American citizenship and to vow her allegiance to everything the U.S.A. stands for. When Matt Garratti moved his family to North Carolina they were met with bigotry and misconceptions. One person compares Sudah to the 19 terrorists of 9/11, she’s called an “A-rab” and she’s looked at with undue suspicion when her own family is put in jeopardy. Her determination to earn her American citizenship, to be a good person and to love her husband and son is mocked simply because of her ethnicity.

I am certainly not attempting to trivialize Nina Davuluri’s situation or the loathsome and hateful statements made against her after being crowned Miss America. She is an American woman who is now in a position to be a role model, an emissary of our land, and an example of our American diversity. Sudah Garratti is a fictional character, but Sudah was the result of the same hatred exhibited in vile tweets and other comments after the pageant.

A few weeks ago I watched John Wayne’s The Searchers and I had to laugh when he “complimented” a tribal chief by saying “You speak good American for an Injun.” Certainly our Native Americans have a different perspective on the term “American through and through”. According to Wikipedia, in 2010 the (Native American) American Indian or Alaska Native population was less than one-percent. In 2007 there were approximately 38-million first-generation LEGAL immigrants. Our country is overwhelmingly inhabited with people and traditions that did not originate on our shores, we’ve blended cultures and families with a diverse and rich mix of heritage.

The pageant was filled with beautiful American women from varied backgrounds and ideologies, women who can be respected and admired for their intelligence, their uniqueness, and their commitment to principles. Each participant seemed worthy of her individual state title, but in the end only one could wear the crown. I applaud Nina Davuluri for being proud and understanding the ethnic roots her parents chose to plant in America and for earning the title of a true American beauty.

(references: A Lot Of People Are Very Upset That An Indian-American WomanWon The Miss America Pageant; Demographics of the United States, Wikipedia)

*In 1983 Vanessa Williams became the first African-American woman to wear the Miss America crown - there was a lot of hate mail and racist comments then too.

Hyphema

a review from Tracy Riva