Tuesday, June 2, 2009

EMS Tales

Paramedics Julie and Matt encounter several different types of emergency calls in Final Sin - it is very real life that one never knows what kind of situation they might be dispatched to. Even when your dispatcher includes information about your call, it doesn't always match what you find.

In the excerpt from Final Sin posted on May 25, Julie and her partner Matt are dispatched to a possible heart problem. What they find instead is a woman who wants them to use their defibrillator on her car battery because her car won't start! (By the way, this is a true story borrowed from an EMT that we know)

To complicate matters, the woman believes that she has been poisoned by her beloved cat!

No matter what the call, EMS professionals know that any crisis, real or imagined, is of tantamount importance to the patient - and they are all trained to provide high standards of care. Still, there are some calls you can't help but chuckle about afterwards -

Here are some TRUE stories that have been overheard in conversations between Julie, Matt and scores of EMS professionals:

The dispatch information was "a woman complaining of severe stomach pains" = about half an hour later the EMT called dispatch to let them know that she delivered an "8 1/2 lb male stomach ache".

The Paramedic was trying to get the female's health history when she was told the woman was pregnant with Elvis Presley's baby - the year was 2004.

The crew was dispatched to the scene of a tractor trailer accident. When they went to apply MAST trousers (anti-shock garment) and removed the driver's jeans, he was wearing very dainty and frilly pink panties... It seems a husband came home early and the man left in a hurry!

The call was for a man "complaining of pressure in his chest" - when the crew arrived, they found the man's two grown sons sitting on his chest because he had gotten angry with his wife over some shopping bills.

If you are an EMS professional - share your humorous stories in the comment section (...just please remember HIPPA when you do):


Anonymous said...

We picked up a pretty inebriated guy, he was friendly and cooperative. But while we ere on our way to the hospital and stopped for a traffic light, he suddenly unbuckled himself and jumped up from the gurney and out the door.

We had to call the police but they couldn't find him.

...there was a lot of paperwork!

Charlie said...

How about we got to the house after a 911 call, woman was complaining of nausea - we get all the way to the hospital when she suddenly RMAs (refuses treatment) and admits to us that she didn't have a ride to the hospital to see her daughter who just gave birth.

TJ said...

I'll never forget the night my partner and I were called to the local PD to bring up an "intoxicated male" - my partner is this BIG burly fellow. The patient was very happy and walked right up to my partner and planted a big, wet, sloppy kiss smack on his mouth. He was not happy.

Unknown said...

I overheard this one - an ambulance crew got called to a woman's house around 4am. When they got there the woman was really panicked and complaining of a tick bite. When she was asked how long ago the tick bit her (more than 20-hours?) her reply was "3 months ago".

Namid said...

Those are great some stories! In the veterinary field, we've had some great stories as well. We got an interesting combo of "unique" human AND animal behavior! LOL. This is great - just makes me want to read Final Sin more!! :)

Malcolm R. Campbell said...

Great stories from dedicated folks. Thanks for sharing these and for opening a window into the world of first responders.


Unknown said...

I guess there will always be funny stories with all the crazies out there. Did you hear about the EMS worker that posted that picture on facebook? I guess the guy with the panties wasn't in too much of a rush if he had time to put on any kind of underwear. My guess is that it was really his!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brenda said...

A fairly new EMT was taking a list of medications that the patient was on but he wasn't too sure what one of the drugs was for, do he asked -

at which point the patient stood up suddenly, got in his face, and screamed "To keep me normal!"

Anonymous said...

This is a fun one...
3 nights in a row I was dispatched to the same residence all 3 jobs came out as a female in labor.
So first night about 0200 I show up she was a bigger lady so you couldn't be so sure. She gives the whole story 9 months water broke fifth kid blah blah blah. The husband was there all excited like you would expect. I get to the hospital and the nurse just starts laughing. Come to find out she came the night before for the same exact thing. All tests show this lady is not pregnant. I just walked away. Next night about 0230 get dispatched to the same place she gives the whole story again and I just say to her "Do you remember last night" We had a conversation she was screaming at me saying how im mixing her up for someone else going nuts on me then very calmly asks "do you want to feel it kick?" So same thing all the nurses laughed at me by this point. So 3rd night call comes out about 0200. At this point I was aggravated being woken up 3 nights in a row. This time she remembered me... she then went about accusing me that the first night I took her down she delivered the baby and I stole it. I didnt know if I should laugh or be scared. So shes telling her husband to find the baby and is just flipping out, she attempted to asssult me and my partner and the police officer had to put her in handcuffs cause she was that much of a threat. Turns out few days later I get the whole story... her husband ran away and she told him she was pregnant with his child. Well he didnt get a child but sure had a few intresting nights and one hell of a hospital bill.