Saturday, May 17, 2014

What about family? - Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 05/18/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Courage of the Heart. Courage of the Heart was originally published by Xlibris in 1999 (BEFORE they went full vanity press) - with no real marketing efforts from the publisher and before I knew much about the subject, it didn't do very well. However it was revised slightly and republished by Vanilla Heart Publishing in 2009 and has enjoyed a healthier reception.

Thanks to all of your insightful comments last week, I saw Adam's perseverance in a different light and it is a big help to me in my current WIP. This week I'm skipping ahead a bit - Adam and Davie are working on being friends again. This week we'll learn a little about Adam.

Adam, were you alone for Thanksgiving?" Davie was so used to big family gatherings on every holiday and the idea of being alone seemed abhorrent to her.
"I watched the game on TV."
For the first time Adam had actually felt alone for the holiday; he kept wishing Davie had been by his side, "not everyone goes home for the holidays."
"It's just, uh," she hadn't meant to offend him, "I was just raised with a huge family and these colossal gatherings every holiday; I'm sorry if I offended you."

"We never really spent time with family. My mother usually worked the bar on holidays anyway and then later, it was just my father and me."
 For more WeWriWa snippets, go to
Sometimes love is the only cure for the very deepest of emotional wounds. The story of the two lovers takes a series of unexpected and fast paced turns where lives, sanity and love are put in jeopardy. Their commitment to one another results in a spirit that binds them together and helps them to overcome physical and emotional dangers.

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I’m participating in Brenda Novak’s 10th Anniversary Online Auction for Diabetes Research – the auction runs through May and there are LOTS of terrific items being auctioned off; proceeds go to The Diabetes Research Institute.



Charmaine Gordon said...

I'm a little confused about switching POV here. Aside from that, sure you'll clarify-maybe it's me-I like this getting to know you conversation and revealing on a more personal level. Thanks, Chelle.

Marcia said...

Yeah, it does look like POV switching. Your meaning's not too clear with the commas that create run-ons. But I also agree that the personal sort of conversation they're having is a great idea. Will secrets be revealed?

Karen Michelle Nutt said...

I didn't have any trouble following. It was clear to me whose thoughts were being revealed. Didn't even noticed the POV switch until I read the two comments above. I thought the POV switch was done smoothly. Enjoyed the revealing conversation and hope to find out more.

Chelle Cordero said...

wow, I didn't even realize I had done that POV switch (Adam's thought) - most of the scene is dialogue. As always, thanks for opening my eyes.

Anonymous said...

Very different backgrounds.

Botanist said...

I reckon you could drop the phrase "she hadn't meant to offend him" as it's implied by the dialogue following. That would also do away with the POV switch.

I had no idea how important Thanksgiving was until I moved over from Britain. I can feel how this scene works on an emotional level far better than I would have done without that exposure to the culture.

Chelle Cordero said...

Botanist, you bring out an important issue for me to note, how will readers not exposed to the holiday's significance react to an exchange such as this.
As always, thank you all for opening this writer's eyes and making me stronger.

Botanist said...

Chelle, I think you're OK there. You've included enough clues for anyone to get it on an intellectual level. Just be aware that it won't have as much impact on a non-American as if you'd had him all on his lonesome at (say) Christmas.

Veronica Scott said...

A nice, revealing conversation between your characters. I'll be curious to see where this goes but a lovely beginning! Great 8!