Saturday, July 5, 2014

The Acceptance - Weekend Writing Warriors / #8sunday / 07/06/14

Hi! Welcome to another Weekend Writing Warrior round. Every week writers post 8 sentences on their blogs from a published or unpublished book. Then we "hop" around and leave comments on each other's snippets. Whether our work is already published or in progress, the helpful comments help us become stronger writers on our next WIP. We welcome EVERYONE's comments.

See more at the WeWriWa blog

Welcome to a snippet from Within the Law. The protagonist, Tom Hughes, was created in His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten). Tom is cousin to the female main character in HLC. I fell in love with Tom, I think he might be my favorite hero from all of my books. His character and his history was so compelling that I HAD to write his story, one in which he has his own HEA.

In the following snippet, it will become a little clearer why Tom is so lost in his memories. I've skipped a few paragraphs and this is in Chapter 1. I had to use a little bit of creative punctuation to make it fit.

The courthouse was already closed by the time Tom had driven into Rome, New York; he knew it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. The district attorney’s office had been very specific about what time they wanted to see him. All they wanted him to do was identify the Tupper Lake High School ring with his initials engraved in it; all he wanted to do was get a look at the guy who had changed everything in his world. Tom had an almost masochistic need to put a face to the lowlife who had turned every dream he had into a nightmare.

Tom looked at his wristwatch and decided that as tempting as it was to drink himself into total numbness, he wanted to be aware enough the next morning to really get a good look at this guy. He’d been waiting eight years. Throwing a couple of bills on the counter, he paid for his last drink and stood. He took his car keys out of his pocket and weaved his way through the crowd towards the door.

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Tom gave up on ever falling in love again the day that he buried his high school sweetheart and fiancé. He started a career in law enforcement just so that he could find her murderer and rapist. Just when he is about to see justice done, he meets Alli Davis-the defense attorney for the murdering rapist who took his love from him.

Within the Law Book Club Extras

Almost every novel published by Vanilla Heart Publishing has a Book Discussion Packet available. These packets are filled with discussion starter questions, printable bookmarks, and other valuable information - and best of all they are FREE. Libraries and book clubs love to get these packets as they really help to facilitate lively discussions. The packet for Within the Law is available for download here. Here is a sample discussion starter:

Tom Hughes’ character was created in a previous book by Ms. Cordero, 
His Lucky Charm (formerly called Forgotten) along with other characters 
Caitlyn, Brandon, Sylvia and Walter. Even though the books are stand 
alone stories, how does it make you feel when a character “lives on” 
beyond the place you first met them? What are your expectations when a 
character makes repeated appearances in several stories?


Anonymous said...

This passage was really sad :( It appears that the woman from last week's snippet was killed D: Poor Tom. And the part about drinking himself into numbness tugs at my heart. My father was an alcoholic for years. He became one to drown out the pain and insecurities. We all have our own ways of dealing with grief and trauma. I can't imagine what it's like to lose my spouse, and for them to be raped and murdered no less. Everything here sounds very realistic. Life can be so cruel sometimes. . .

This was definitely my favorite sentence, "Tom had an almost masochistic need to put a face to the lowlife who had turned every dream he had into a nightmare." I liked it so much I read it twice XD It basically explains everything the reader needs to know about Tom, including how much he loved fiance ;____;

FCEtier said...

It might be a relief to readers if Tom reaches his destination safely.
If he doesn't....well, then you're got a REAL story!
Great story telling, Chelle.

Botanist said...

I suspect he wants to do rather more than get a look at the guy. It feels like they'd better be holding him back...

Anonymous said...

Oh wow, poor Tom! And the premise sounds great!

Anonymous said...

It may be clearer in the context, but is the bar before or after he's identified the ring? And I'm worried about his driving, too.
BTW, my snippets on WeWriWa go live at midnight Alaska time (4 am Eastern time.) That way they have the right date stamp. Click early and you'll get what I'm posting on Science Fiction Romance.

Charmaine Gordon said...

"Weaving toward his car." That scared me-the implication of drunk driving. Love the story, Chelle.

Veronica Scott said...

Well tomorrow surely isn't going to be an easy day for him (although I think maybe he's jumping to some conclusions?). Fascinating story, great 8!

Chelle Cordero said...

The bar scene is before he has to identify the ring which he gave to his then gf/fiance; yes she was raped and murdered.
Tom is buzzed not drunk, and he winds up outside for a while before he get into his car.
There are several ironic twists to the story, the first of which he will encounter when he leaves the bar (although he won't realize it - yet)
One of the reasons I fell in love with Tom is because he is an imperfect hero.

Cara Bristol said...

Nice, slow build-up of tension.

Teresa Cypher said...

Good tension, Chelle...and great emotion in this snippet. you've worked his thoughts nicely into the scene. Well done!

Anonymous said...

Strong emotion. HIgh stakes and reading the blurb nearly impossible to see a HEA happening for this story. I am intrigued;).

Unknown said...

Ah, I see you say he's buzzed...not drunk. But he's weaving...that makes it seem he's not in control of his faculties. I can totally understand why he is where he is.

Chelle Cordero said...

just to clarify, I agree with the TV PSAs, "buzzed driving is drunk driving" - In the scene not included in this snippet, Tom will make sure he is not going to drive drunk.

ElaineLK said...

This is really intriguing. I'm a newcomer here so I haven't read your previous posts. I'm wondering what happened to Tom that destroyed his life, who is responsible for it, and what he'll do now. Look forward to more.