Wednesday, November 10, 2021

Surprise, Not!


Sometimes people surprise you… and not always in a good way. You can go months, even years, thinking that you know someone and that person "has your back". And then hard disappointment sets in as you realize, sometimes like a swift kick in the butt, that you have BEEN HAD.


What is more painful than realizing that you've been lied to is losing the trust that you might have had in this person. It can even make you doubt your own ability to see and assess the truth. What's worse is not always knowing IF the deceitful person was purposely deceiving you, or did they somehow think they had motives or justification for LYING?


You probably thought better of this person, maybe even respected them… perhaps you feel as if you knew better and yet still let them get away with their selfishness and dishonesty. You might even be wondering if you were complicit or encouraged their dishonesty.


Stop playing the self-blame game! If you were lied to, it's simple, YOU were the one who was deceived, your trust was abused, and your view could forever be tainted by duplicity. It is very sad if you are actually giving a liar all of that power over you. Then again should we really feel so betrayed or used?


So what is the difference between a simple "white lie" and a hurtful, deceitful Lie? And how often have each of us uttered a white lie to protect someone else? We tell white lies every time we plan a surprise birthday party and every time we make a big deal over how good someone looks in their favorite sweater or such.


White lies are considered part of the social norm and accepted, even sometimes, expected. Obviously, some lies are "okay"? Maybe we need to examine the intent of each falsehood uttered? Most of us, if not all, have been taught that lying is wrong and yet, how many times we heard known lies coming from the very mouths of those teaching us the value of the truth?


A white lie is often told with the best of intentions, it may be told to spare someone's feelings, it may be told not to destroy a surprise, but it is never told to hurt, harm or bolster our own egos. What may be a harmless white lie, one that has been told to protect feelings, is still a lie. And there are some people who see a white lie, even if it's stated for their benefit, as betrayal and insulting that they cannot handle the truth.


How much honesty do you expect from the people around you? How much honesty come from the words YOU utter? Aside from words with bad intentions, your white lies may be salve to someone's bruised ego. So how do we know how far we need to go to hide the truth, or should we hide it at all.


What are your feelings about lies, is there ever a time it's alright to lie?
 We'd love to hear your take on falsehoods.



No comments: